When Fate Steps In
by christina2439
Summary: Rose and Cal were friends and had even started developing into something more when Rose found out about their arranged marriage. Misunderstandings and anger will tear them apart. Rose turns to Cal after losing Jack, desperately needing her old friend's strength. Will their feelings reawaken or will anger and jealousy force them apart forever? *I do not own any of the characters*
1. Chapter 1

I was introduced to Cal when I was thirteen. He was twenty-six and being prepared to take over his family's steel business. I didn't really give him much thought at first. At thirteen I placed him in the same category as my father, another adult who I was supposed to show respect to and accept guidance from. Cal was tall and handsome with a firm slender body. When he smiled, a real sincere smile, his eyes came to life. However, it wasn't until I was a few years older that I came to acknowledge and even appreciate his breathtakingly good looks.

I wasn't told the real reason why my meeting Cal was so important, but the day it happened, mother was more particular about my appearance than usual. She lectured me for what seemed like hours on being on my best behavior and making sure to engage Cal in conversation. I was confused about what my mother expected me to talk about with a man who was thirteen years older than me. Surely, with the age difference we wouldn't anything in common. I was pretty good at holding my own in a conversation, but even I could only talk about the weather, how delicious the dinner was, or how beautiful his home was for so long.

When I dared ask mother why my interaction with this man was so important, she sighed impatiently and said that he was an important business man that could prove to be beneficial to our family. This didn't really surprise me as my father was always working on a business deal with someone. I couldn't count number of boring dinner parties I had been force to sit through while my father did his best to impress different business men.

Once we arrived at the Hockley's estate and introductions were made the evening seemed to go just like I had expected with one notable difference. Instead of my father doing all the talking to Cal, with whom he was supposed to be trying to negotiate some sort of business deal with according to my mother, it was me that ended up spending the most time with Cal. My mother and father kept themselves occupied with Cal's father and stepmother, leaving Cal and I alone to chat uncomfortably. Thankfully, during dinner Cal and I finally found some common ground that helped the conversation flow more naturally. He asked me If I enjoyed reading.

Much to my mother's constant annoyance I had my nose in a book every free moment I was allowed. My father had had several bookshelves custom built in my room for my birthday a few years ago. The shelves were almost completely filled. Cal seemed impressed that I was an avid reader. We spent the rest of the evening discussing books like Don Quixote, Robinson Crusoe, Frankenstein and my current personal favorite; The Three Musketeers.

After dinner Cal gave me a tour of his personal library. I stood in the huge room that was twice the size of my bedroom with my mouth hanging open, mother would have smacked me for such an unladylike expression. Cal seemed amused at my reaction. I slowly walked over to the nearest book shelf and ran my fingers over the line of books as I read their titles. The shelves were alphabetized and I saw several books I had been dying to read.

"I could spend the rest of my life happily in this one room." I said softly more to myself than to Cal.

I heard him chuckle. I reluctantly turned my eyes from the books to look at Cal. He stood close behind me with a stack of books in his hands which he handed to me.

"These are some of my personal favorites. If you haven't read them I would be honored if you would take them home with you on loan to read. Then maybe next time our families get together we could discuss them?"

I examined the titles; David Copperfield, Ravenshoe, Crime and Punishment, and Bracebridge Hall. As luck would have it I hadn't read any of them but I couldn't wait to get home and get started. I looked up at Cal and smiled.

"Thank you so much Mr Hockley!"

"Please, call me Cal and this is as much for me as it is for you. It will be nice to have someone that shares my passion for reading and is wiling to discuss books with me."

Cal didn't know it but he had just become my new best friend. My mother had no interest in literary pursuits and tried to discourage me from spending so much time with a book in my hand. My father enjoyed reading but he had very little free time to sit and read a book for pure enjoyment. The girls in my social circle, like my mother, had no interest in books. They seemed more interested in gossiping, money and the latest fashion trends.

Over the next four years my family and Cal's spent a lot of time together. I was still under the assumption that it was about some business venture of my father's. In truth, I didn't think much about it after our initial meeting, I was too happy to have a book loving friend to suspect mother's ulterior motives. I looked forward to the times I got to spend with Cal. We loaned books back and forth. During family visits we would seclude ourselves in a corner of the den farthest from our parents and have lively discussions about book plots, characters and our likes or dislikes. We didn't always agree and sometimes that would turn into a heated exchange. The worst disagreement we had was when Cal said Pride and Prejudice was probably the worst book he had ever read. I was so angry I refused to talk to him for the rest of the evening.

When my family prepared to leave that night I knew that I couldn't get away with not saying good night to Cal. I didn't want to have to deal with my mother's disapproval the whole ride home. My lips smiled sweetly, but the smile didn't reach my eyes, as I bid Cal good night.

"Mr. Hockley. Thank you for inviting my parent's and I over. I had a wonderful time. Good evening."

He frowned slightly at my calling him Mr. Hockley, but he recovered quickly and almost looked amused when he bid me good night. We made up the next time we met, neither of us apologized but we mutually agreed to disagree about Pride and Prejudice.

I didn't become suspicious of the real motives behind mother and father's real reasons for spending so much time with the Hockley's until my seventeenth birthday. Much to my dismay mother insisted on throwing the usual birthday party. I hated my birthday because of mother's parties. They were ostentatious and she always invited the most boring stuck up people. Most of which were business colleagues of my father's who I had never met before. I was forced to be a gracious hostess and socialize until the last guest walked out the door. After which I had to listen to mother rate my performance. I usually didn't measure up to her expectations. Every birthday since I was nine had ended up with me feeling angry, alone and eventually crying myself to sleep. This year would start out with promise but end up just like it did every other year.

I was excited because Cal was coming to the party. Finally, I would have a friend to help make the evening bearable. I knew I wouldn't be able to spend my time exclusively with him but even the chance to spend a little time in the company of someone I had formed a bond with was enough to get me through the night. Mother had had a beautiful deep green lace and satin dress made for me. It had shiny silver beading along the hem and extended onto the short train that flowed behind me as I walked. The sleeves were short and made of a silvery sheer fabric. I didn't dare tell mother, but I loved the dress, it made me feel so elegant and beautiful when I put it on.

After Trudy, my maid, helped me dress she skillfully worked my long wavy red hair into an intricate up-do. I examined myself in the mirror, my figure was the envy of the girls at school. My chest had finally filled out and the tight corset accentuated my slim waist. As I looked in the mirror admiring the woman I was becoming I was suddenly worried if Cal would like my dress. My reflection frowned back at me, why was I worried about what Cal thought? He was my friend, my much older friend. We didn't have THAT kind of relationship, we simply shared a love for literature. He was handsome though, his brown eyes held a depth that at times I felt myself getting lost in. I knew he had a firm muscular body, I had felt the solidness of his chest once. He had teased me about my infatuation with a character in a book I had been reading and I had pretended to be angry while poking him in the chest. He had laughed loudly at me. The sound of his laugh sent waves of delight through me. I shook my head trying to push this line of thinking out of my head.

I turned away from my reflection, straightened my shoulders and headed downstairs to my party.


	2. Chapter 2

The party was well underway and I was doing my best to live up to my mother's standard as hostess when Cal arrived. I managed to get away from one of the less tolerable girls mother had forced on me and made my way over to where Cal was standing talking with my father and a couple of men I recognized from my father's office.

"Cal, thank you so much for coming! It's always a pleasure to see you."

Cal smiled and I felt my cheeks involuntarily grow warm. "Happy Birthday Rose." He leaned down and kissed me softly on the cheek.

His lips were soft and he smelled of aftershave. I had never swooned before but I thought I might be about to. I bit the inside of my cheek to clear my head. Cal led me to a sofa which was in the only quiet unoccupied corner of the room. He handed me two neatly wrapped gifts, instructing me to open the larger one. Mother was watching us from across the room but I was too preoccupied with Cal to notice anyone else. The larger present was a leather bound collection of Shakespeare plays. I smiled broadly at Cal.

"Cal! This is perfect!"

"I'm glad you like it. You don't already have them do you? I asked your mother but she wasn't much help."

The thought of Cal asking my mother about a book made me laugh. "No, I don't suppose she would be much help with that and no I don't already have these. It was very thoughtful Cal. Thank you." I smiled up at him.

I carefully tore the paper from the other present revealing a long blue velvet box. My hands shook slightly as I opened it. Inside was the most beautiful bracelet. There were several small oval shaped blue sapphires surrounded by diamonds that were linked one to the other by a delicate white gold circle.

"It's beautiful." I whispered softly staring down at the bracelet.

"May I?" Cal lifted the bracelet out of the box and clasped it around my wrist.

I held my wrist out turning it so that I could watch the sapphires sparkle in the light. I placed my hand on Cal's arm, smiling up at him.

"This is the best present I have ever received. Thank you."

Cal smiled back and his eyes looked into mine so lovingly that my body temperature shoot up till I felt like I had a raging fever. I could only imagine that my cheeks must be as red as an apple. I suddenly remembered that the room was full of people here to celebrate my birthday but I couldn't bring myself to break eye contact with Cal. Sensing that all the attention was starting to turn towards us Cal looked away first. I sighed quietly. I wasn't sure if it was a sigh of frustration or relief.

Mother was uncharacteristically giddy when she appeared by my side and looked at the new bracelet on my wrist. Cal excused himself to chat with a couple of men he knew. I went back to floating between my many guests. I found it harder than normal to concentrate on keeping up a polite conversation. My mind kept flooding with images of Cal's brown eyes, his lips, his after shave. My eyes drifted constantly towards Cal. I would watch him for a few minutes before he felt my gaze and would look up at me. Embarrassed I would turn my attention back to the person in front of me.

Needing a break to try and clear my head, I excused myself and headed for the restroom. I was almost at the bathroom door when I heard voices behind me. I heard one of them say something about Cal. I recognized the voices as two girls from the school I attended. They hadn't seen me yet so I quietly slipped into the door next to the restroom. It was my father's study but it was empty at the moment and dark. I left the door open a crack so I could hear more clearly. The two girls stopped in front of the door and I slid a little further into the room, hiding myself in the dark.

"I cant believe Rose managed to snag Caledon Hockley."

"I'm not. Mother has been talking about it for years. She told me how Ruth had orchestrated it all. The Hockleys and Dewitt-Bukators have been planning this since we were all thirteen. The Hockley's are some of the richest people in the world and the Dewitt-Bukators have the sought after name. Combining the two with a marriage between Rose and Caledon would be mutually beneficial."

"They seem to really like each other though."

"Well of course Rose would be head over heals for Cal. He is set to inherit millions, plus he is quite nice to look at. But I can't see what Cal would see in Rose."

"She is beautiful and smart. Maybe Cal likes that in a woman."

"I guess she is pretty but she is so boring with her nose always in one of her many books. How could a worldly experienced man like Cal really be happy marrying someone like that?"

I sat down in one of the chairs in front of my fathers desk no longer listening to the two girls. The business deal mother had told me was the reason they were spending all that time with the Hockley's was really about arranging a marriage between Cal and I? Did Cal know? Of course he knew. Was that why he had befriended me and taken such an interest in my love of books? It had all been a lie. The girl in the hall was right, there was no way Cal would truly be interested in me. I thought I had seen something in his eyes when he gave me the bracelet but I had obviously tricked myself into thinking it was affection. How pathetic I must seem to everyone.

The girls were gone when I slipped out of my fathers office and made my way back to the party. It took everything in me to keep up the happy hostess charade. I did my best to avoid Cal but it wasn't easy. I could feel his eyes constantly following me. Thankfully I managed to keep my own eyes from wandering towards him for the rest of the evening. Cal lingered behind after the last guest left. I turned to look at the three of them, my mother, father and Cal. Standing beside each other like the co-conspirators they were. Cal was the first to notice the change in my expression.

"Rose, are you feeling okay?"

"Why of course. Why shouldn't I feel okay?"

Mother raised her eyebrow at me. "Didn't you enjoy your party?"

"Yes, mother, it was… interesting."

"Rose…" Cal took a step towards me.

I took a step backwards.

"So, when exactly was I going to be told about my marriage arrangement? Hopefully it was before the organ started playing the wedding march and father was dragging me down the aisle."

"Rose surely you knew that's why we have had you spending so much time with Cal." My mother looked at me impatiently.

"No mother, I was not aware. When I asked you before, you told me it was one of father's business deals and we all had to make a good impression."

"Rose seriously for someone so smart, you can be so clueless. Cal is a good match. Cal's parent's and your father and I have been discussing the possibility of a marriage between the two of you since you were three."

"And you knew about it?" I looked at Cal hoping that he had been as clueless as me.

"I was aware." Cal said quietly.

"How long have you known?"

"Since you were thirteen. I had heard about the initial idea when you were a baby but I didn't think about it until you were older and it became more concrete."

"So that's why you took an interest in me. Because you knew we were to be married and you had to play nice?" I was fighting back tears.

Cal looked sad. "Initially yes, that is why I was nice to you. But…"

"It has all been a lie. Our friendship, your interest in the books I like. All of it. I was just some silly little girl that you had to put up with because our parents were arranging a marriage between us like a business deal."

"Rose…" My father started

"I'm not feeling well. I should go lay down. Mr Hockley, thank you again for coming to my party it was… kind of you. And thank you for my presents I shall treasure them and the sincerity with which they were given." Tears filled my eyes, threatening at any moment to slip down my cheeks and expose how hurt I was.

"Rose, it is a done deal. You and Cal will marry." My mother's voice was stern and I could hear the hidden warning.

"Of course mother. Will you be proposing for him? That way he doesn't have to do one more thing he doesn't really want to. And then you can have all the satisfaction of knowing you sold your daughter into a marriage to secure your future."

I didn't have time to react before mother raised her hand and slapped me hard across the face. It almost knocked me to the ground. The tears now falling freely down my cheeks. Without looking at them again I ran from the room. Blinded by my tears my foot missed a step and I fell forward, my arms taking the brunt of the fall.

"Rose" Cal was beside me. He gently took my arms in his hands and helped me stand.

Once I was standing I moved away from him. My tear filled eyes looking up at him. "I thought you were my friend. I trusted you." My voice softly accusing him. He started to reach out to me but I turned and ran the rest of the way up the stairs.

I slammed my bedroom door shut and threw myself on my bed. Once again my birthday ended with me sobbing on my bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Trudy came in and helped me change into my night gown. I crawled into bed exhausted and heartbroken. I heard my bedroom door open and close quietly. My father as usual coming to be the peacekeeper. I sat up with my back against my headboard facing my father who was sitting on the side of my bed. He took my hand in his.

"Rose I think it's time you were told a few things."

"I think it's evident I figured those things out an hour ago." The words didn't come out as hard as I had intended.

"Well, will you let me explain my side then? At least hear me out before you judge my decisions in this matter?"

"Ok."

"You heard that your future with Cal was set into motion when you were three. It was discussed yes, but until four years ago it had not been set in stone. Our finances aren't the best, business has been difficult and we are in serious trouble. I have had to take out several loans over the past few years to keep us afloat. I thought business would pick up if I could make the right deals, but those deals never happened and now I have no way to pay back the loans. Your marriage to Cal would secure our future yes but more importantly to me, it will secure your future."

He paused to let me grasp the information. I had always thought my father to be the smartest business man I knew and to hear that he was on the verge of financial ruin was shocking, to say the least. I nodded for him to continue.

"I was hesitant about matching you with a man who was so much older but the more time you spent with Cal the more I started to see a friendship forming between the two of you. And recently I thought I saw an affection developing. Have you come to care for the man Rose?"

"He was my friend and seemed to share some of my same interests. I am not sure how I was beginning to feel about him. His opinion of me had become important. But what does that matter father? He was only doing it out of obligation."

"I think he does care for you Rose. It may have started out as an obligation for him at first, but I think over time that has changed. Your mother and I met and married under very similar circumstances you know."

I looked up at him curiously. I had never heard the story of how they met. I had often wondered how someone as uptight and entitled as my mother had managed to get a man like my father to marry her. My father was firm but kind. He had a keen sense of humor and I loved the sound of his laughter. I don't think I had ever seen or heard mother laugh in all my seventeen years.

"Our parent's had decided on our marriage very early on. When our engagement was announced your mother was sixteen and I was twenty-four, we barely knew each other. We knew of each other and had met on a couple of occasions at dinner parties but that was the extent of our knowledge of the other. The pre-arranged engagement made your mother resentful and angry. She had fallen for another boy in our circle and they wanted to get married but her parents forced her to give him up. She was a lot like you are now, headstrong and full of dreams."

I couldn't imagine my mother being anything like me. I shook my head doubtfully.

"Your mother changed a lot after she had to give up her beau. She eventually accepted her obligations but she became hardened. I know she is hard on you and maybe not as loving as you deserve but she does care for you, she just doesn't know how to show it. Her mother and father were not loving or affectionate to her in any way."

I still couldn't imagine my mother being any different from how she was now. I also didn't believe that she cared for me. I thought my father was probably just trying to convince us both that mother had a heart somewhere inside her chest.

"From the beginning I was adamant that we handle your marriage different from how your mother's and mine was. Which is why we have arranged for you and Cal to spend so much time together over the past four years. I didn't want to see you to turn into what your mother did. I thought maybe if you and Cal could become friends it would help. When I thought I saw you feeling something deeper for him it was more than I could have hoped for. Open your heart to him Rose. He will be a good match securing your future and ours."

I knew it would do not good to argue, so I simply nodded. He smiled lovingly and kissed my forehead.

"Don't forget, your mother and I leave early tomorrow morning. We will be gone a month and when we return your mother will want to start planning the wedding. You have a month to get yourself ready."

My parents always left the day after my birthday party on some sort of trip, usually business related. Knowing that I would have a solid month without my mother's nagging and criticizing of my every action helped get me through the worst parts of the parties.

"Have a safe trip."

"I love you Rose, remember that and know that I have only ever wanted the best for you and I believe this marriage with Cal will be the best for you." He stood and started walking towards my bedroom door.

"I love you too, daddy"

He turned and smiled softly at me before walking out of the room shutting the door silently behind him. I didn't call him daddy often, mother said it sounded too juvenile and insisted I call him father. But sometimes when she wasn't around to reprimand me I would use it. It was reserved for special moments when I wanted to convey my love and affection for him.


	4. Chapter 4

When I woke up the next morning my parents were already gone. I sighed in relief and smiled in excitement at the freedom I would have over the next month. Trudy came in and helped me dress for the day. I had a small breakfast before heading out to the garden. The day was so beautiful I couldn't resist heading outside. I was sitting on a bench at the far side of the garden, hugging my knees to my chest, watching two squirrels chase each other around a tree trunk when I felt someone sit down beside me. I looked up into Cal's brown eyes. He smiled and I felt my cheeks blush. I looked away and forced myself to stare at the squirrels.

"I didn't expect to see you this morning. What brings you here?" I tried to keep a neutral tone in my voice as if I didn't really care whether he was there or not.

"Your parents asked me to check in on you while they were gone."

So once again he was here out of obligation. I turned to look at him, fire burning in my eyes. "I am seventeen and perfectly capable to taking care of myself. You needn't bother yourself with an obligation towards me. I wouldn't want you to be forced to spend time listening to me babble on about stuff that I am sure you couldn't care less about."

My arms let go of my legs and I started to stand but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

"Damn it Rose! I enjoy spending time with you. I told you last night that this arrangement did start out as an obligation, as you call it, for me at first. But the more time we spend together the more I have come to enjoy and even look forward to our discussions. I am here because I WANT to be here."

I looked up at him my eyes filled with doubt and mistrust. He softly grabbed my face with both his hands and held it still. His lips descended onto mine in a soft but firm kiss. He released my face and wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer. My hands instinctively went to his chest and grabbing his coat and pulling him even closer. His kisses were slow and firm, his familiar after shave scent was intoxicating. When he finally pulled away we were both gasping for breath. This was my first kiss and I couldn't imagine it could get much better than that. I looked up into his eyes noticing that he looked as affected as I felt. My hand involuntarily moved to his face, lightly tracing his jawline with my finger tips. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. I dropped my hand and when he opened his eyes I gasped. He stared down at me with such intensity that I was suddenly afraid.

I slid away from him. Moving as far away as the small bench would allow. Part of me wanted to run from the garden and lock myself away from him in my room but another part wanted him to grab me and kiss me some more. That fact that I wanted him to kiss me again a lot more than I wanted to run from him scared me. He sat quietly watching me.

"Have you kissed a lot of women?" I couldn't believe I had asked that question out loud but it was too late to take it back now.

"A few. And how about you? How many other boys have stolen kisses from you? Will there be a line of your beaus lining up to challenge me when our engagement is announced next month?"

I shook my head. "That…" I was suddenly embarrassed.

Cal sat quietly waiting.

"That was my first kiss." I admitted quietly.

Cal sat looking at me thoughtfully. "No other beaus then?"

"Seriously Cal, I am sure you already know the answer to that. You, your parents and mine had my wedding date set before I could walk practically. At what point would I have ever been allowed to have a beau?"

"You can be quite resourceful and secretive when you want to be Rose. I just wondered if there would be any opposition. I thrive on competition at work but I don't find it quite as thrilling in my personal life."

"So basically you are declaring that I now belong to you and all others better back off?" I knew I sounded like a brat but I couldn't help it.

"You are MINE Rose. We are as good as engaged, the only thing keeping it from being official is the formal announcement."

"We are not as good as engaged. I haven't even been asked! Don't I at least deserve to be asked properly? You cant expect me to just accept being told by you and my parents that I'm engaged and that's all there is to it. A true gentlemen asks for the lady's hand in marriage and then she either accepts or doesn't. So until a gentlemen shows up in front of me, gets down on one knee and proposes I am NOT engaged and I am NOT YOURS!"

"Why do you have to be so difficult? Your mother told you last night that we are to be married. You and I will be a good match, we have spent more time together than most other engaged couples do. We formed a friendship fueled by our mutual interests. Why isn't that enough for you?"

"What about love? Do you even love me? And why is it so hard for you to understand that a woman should get a proposal? This isn't one of your business deals! Maybe, I will go find some man who will propose to me and by the time mother and father get back it will be too late. I will be married and living with a man who was thoughtful enough to propose."

"Rose I will not allow that to happen. You are my fiancé!"

"I am not yours or anyone else's! I swear the first man that shows up with a ring and gets down on one knee I am accepting." I stood and started to angrily walk back to the house.

Cal was on my heal. He grabbed my arm and swung me around to face him. His eyes narrowed in anger. His hands gripped both my arms painfully. He leaned down his lips bruising mine as he kissed me with such fervor I thought I was going to faint. Thankfully Cal kept his grip on my arms holding me up. Abruptly, he broke the kiss and let go of my arms shoving me away from him. I swayed on my feet as my breath came in gasps. He stood in front of me still looking angry.

"I am the first and I will be the last to kiss you and bed you Rose. You would do well to remember that. If it's a proposal you want, then you will get it. But if you dare accept another man's proposal before I get back you will live to regret it."

I didn't have time to respond. Cal angrily stormed out of the garden and left my house. After I had recovered I slowly went back into the house. I spent the rest of the day curled up on my bed reading. My arms were sore and I knew there were probably bruises where Cal's hands had gripped me. His possessiveness was infuriating and frightening. I heard enough gossip to know that his father was an abusive man both to his first wife and his son. I thought back to my sixth birthday party. Cal and his family had been there. I remember mother talking quietly with one of her friends about Cal's bruised eye and busted lip. In my innocence I had gone up to the nineteen year old Cal and asked him if his eye hurt. He smirked at me and told me he was used to it. When I asked him how he got it, his only reply was a quick shrug and a scowl in his father's direction.

Was he going to be abusive like his father? We learn how to act from our parent's right? So was he destined to treat others as cruelly as his father did? I couldn't accept that because that would mean I had a real chance of turning into my mother. I threw my book on the bed and headed downstairs for dinner. I usually enjoyed eating on my own but tonight I wished I had someone to talk to maybe it would distract me from the thoughts in my head.


	5. Chapter 5

Cal stayed away for a week. I finally stopped jumping at every knock on the door by the fourth day and by the time the sixth day rolled around I had convinced myself that I had scared him off and I would have some explaining to do to my parents. When he finally did show up it caught me completely off guard. Trudy came in to help me dress for dinner that night. I wanted to stay in the same plain dress I had worn all day but Trudy had suggested wearing the dress from my birthday party.

"You looked so beautiful Miss and you said yourself it made you feel sophisticated and grown up. Pardon my saying so, but you haven't smiled a lot recently and I thought maybe dressing up would make you feel a little better."

"I think you are right Trudy, thank you."

She smiled and helped me dress. She did my hair the same way it had been done for my birthday. I admired myself in the mirror. She was right, this did make me feel a little better. I smiled at her. I was lost in thought as I descended the stairs and didn't notice Cal waiting at the bottom to escort me into the dining room. I was on the third step from the bottom when he cleared his throat. I jumped my foot missing the next step and I tried to grab the railing as I felt myself start to fall. Cal quickly caught me and helped me down the last two steps.

"What are you doing here?"

"I told you the other day, your parents asked me to check up on you. I haven't been able to come by for a few days because of work but I thought tonight we could have dinner together."

He placed my hand under his arm and led me to the dining room. The table was laid out with mother's best china, beautiful flower arrangements that filled the room with a sweet aroma decorated the table and the only light in the room was from dozens of candles arranged between the flowers and dishes that were filled with food. Cal pulled out my seat for me before sitting in the chair at the head of the table next to me.

"Did you arrange all this?" I said as I pointed at the table.

"Yes. I didn't want to show up and end up eating in the kitchen. So I called this morning and talked with the butler."

We ate in silence for a while before Cal asked what I had been doing the past few days.

I shrugged. "The usual, reading. During these trips when mother is away I enjoy the unrestricted reading time."

Our conversation turned to what books I was reading and we fell into our comfortable routine. After dinner Cal led me into the den which had also been decorated flowers and candles. Cal closed the door behind us and sat beside me on the small sofa, the same sofa we had sat on during my birthday party. We talked a little bit more and then Cal cleared his throat.

"Rose, darling." He pulled a little blue velvet box from his coat pocket and slid off the sofa kneeling in front of me on one knee. "Over the past four years we have become friends and slowly I have developed a deep affection for you. I think we could have a wonderful life together. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

I looked into his eyes, he seemed sincere. He hadn't said he loved me but he said he had a deep affection for me. What did that mean exactly? Part of me wanted to see what would happen if I said no. Then I thought of how mother would react when she found out. I knew I really truly didn't have a choice in this. It didn't matter what I said but it was nice that Cal had listened to what I had said in the garden and was at least giving me the pretense of being able to say no.

"Yes, Cal, I will marry you." I felt a mixture of happiness and anxiety as he slid the huge diamond engagement ring on my finger. I held my hand up marveling at how the diamond sparkled in the candle light.

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful Cal. Thank you."

He sat back down beside me on the sofa. I craned my neck up and kissed him softly on the cheek. He looked down at me surprised. I smiled softly and his lips found mine. They were softer this time, not spurred on by his anger. He was gentle and even dare I say, loving. He buried his fingers in my hair, massaging the back of my head as he kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his chest marveling at the firmness of his body. His teeth nipped my lower lip lightly sending sparks of pleasure into my body causing my mouth to open slightly as I gasped. He slowly slid his tongue into my mouth. I tensed involuntarily when his tongue touched mine. He slowly cautiously started caressing my tongue with his own giving me time to adjust to the feeling. I forced myself to relax and allow my tongue to move in motion with his.

When he pulled back separating my lips I groaned in frustration. He chuckled and moved his lips down to my neck, kissing from my jaw line down to the base of my neck and back up again. Occasionally he would lightly nip at my skin which caused me to shiver and tighten my arms around him. I felt his mouth smile against my neck when I would gasp or groan softly. I brought one of my hands up to the back of his neck and lightly caressed it before running my fingers into his dark hair. His hair was surprisingly soft.

An unfamiliar heat was spreading through my body. I pulled away from Cal he looked down at me surprised and a little frustrated. But when he saw the desire fully visible in my eyes he smiled knowingly. I reached up and placed my lips on this sharp jaw line. Copying how he had kissed my jaw and neck pausing occasionally to nip at his ear or neck. I am not sure when, but at some point while I was occupied with kissing his neck, he had loosened my hair from its up-do allowing it to fall in soft waves down my back. He ran his fingers through my hair while I kissed his neck, At times, usually when I nipped at the sensitive skin behind his ear his hands would grab handfuls of my hair almost pulling my head away from his neck. It didn't hurt, in fact it kind of excited me.

I ran my kisses up to his chin and then his lips allowing him to suck at my bottom lip before he plunged his tongue into my mouth again. I didn't tense this time, my tongue greeted his with a desire I had never experienced before now. My hands slid between Cal's dinner jacket and shirt. I ran my hands over his chest down to his stomach and around to his back. He pulled away slowly. I frowned when his lips parted from mine.

"Rose I only have so much control and we are coming to the point of no return here."

"Cal…" My desire and need unmistakable in the tone. I looked up at him, the minute I looked into his eyes I was hopelessly lost in them.

He picked me up and carried me up the stairs to my room, locking the door behind us. We stood just inside the door his lips reclaiming mine. I slid my hands inside his coat again and slid it off his arms letting it fall to the floor. He walked us towards the bed. I undid the buttons on his shirt and he helped me remove it from his body. When my hands touched his bare chest for the first time I felt his muscles tense. I pulled my hands away, looking up at him shyly. He took both my hands in his and brought them back to his chest. I slowly traced his ribs and marveled at the electricity running through my finger tips. Cal turned me around and undid my dress. I stepped out of it as it pooled at my feet on the floor. He undid the laces on my corset and I enjoyed the ability to breath deeply once it fell off me. I turned around to face him again. My body now barely covered by thin undergarments. Cal placed his hand behind my back and pulled be to him. He slowly removed the rest of my clothing and looked down at my now bare body. Suddenly shy and nervous I blushed and tried to turn away from his eyes. He grabbed my hand and pulled me too him.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen Rose."

His lips returned to mine and I forgot all about my nervousness. He managed to get his pants off and moved us to the bed. He lifted me onto the bed laying me down and then laying down beside me without removing his lips from mine. His hands explored ever inch of my body. My own shy inexperienced hands mostly remained on his chest and back, caressing and exploring. I felt his steadily growing manhood pressing against my thigh.

Pulling his mouth from mine Cal looked down at me. "Rose, are you sure?"

I nodded. "I.. I've never… I don't know how." I sighed.

"It's okay Rose. I will teach you."

He moved his body over mine. He pulled one of my legs up and placed it around his waist. I instinctively wrapped my other leg around him too. I tensed when I felt his fingers touch me down there. He kissed me softly, reassuringly. Then slowly he guided himself inside me. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly when the pain hit.

"Try to relax, it will make it easier to bare. It's okay Rose, it won't hurt for long."

As he slid in deeper I felt a tearing and more pain. I gripped his arms tighter.

"Relax. Look at me Rose."

I looked up into his eyes, instantly losing myself in the depths. He smiled softly and his eyes gazed down at me lovingly. My grip on Cal's arms loosened, I released one of his arms bringing my hand up and gently pushing a lock of his hair away from his forehead. He turned his head and kissed the palm of my hand. I relaxed and Cal slid in a little deeper. I no longer felt the pain as I gave control of my body and soul to this beautiful man in front of me. I slowly lifted my hips towards Cal sliding him in even deeper. He groaned and slowly moved his hips pushing himself as deep as he could into my wetness. His lips moved to my neck as he moved inside me. I felt like electricity was moving through me. My skin tingled and I had a restless need to move. My body moved clumsily trying unsuccessfully to match Cal's movements. He placed a hand on my hip and helped it match his rhythm. When my body adapted and started moving in sync with his on its own he let go of my hip. I felt a building tightness working through my body and the electricity was becoming so intense I felt like my body was vibrating uncontrollably.

"Cal…" I looked up at him my desire and coming release evident in my expression but it also scared me. I had no idea what this feeling was.

"Let go Rose. Let yourself feel everything. It's okay I promise." His voice was strained his hips moving faster, deeper, harder.

The faster he moved the more my body hummed with intensity until finally I cried out and the most wonderful feeling enveloped my body. I clung to Cal and let my instincts take over. My hips moved on their own meeting Cal's in a passion filled fury. I felt Cal's body tense and his breathing became ragged. His lips crashed into mine as he pinned my body to the bed. I felt my own body reacting and the beautiful feeling of ecstasy overwhelmed me again. I felt Cal's release at the same time my as my own crashed through me for the second time that night.

He collapsed on top of me, his head on my chest. I ran my fingers lightly through his hair which was damp from sweat. Every muscle in my body felt completely relaxed. My thoughts were a jumbled mess as my brain tried to process the sensory overload I was experiencing. The weight of Cal's body on mine, the smell of his aftershave mixed with sweat, his arms wrapped around me, the touch of his bare skin against mine and the electrical hum that was still coursing through my body, although I could feel it slowly dwindling. I briefly wondered if Cal was feeling the same thing.

After a while my eyes closed and I felt my body start to give way to sleep as I held Cal. He slowly moved off of me, laying on his side with his head propped up on his hand. I frowned in my half sleep state reaching out for him. He took my hand and kissed it. His fingers played with a lock of my hair for a while as my breathing became slow and even.

"Are you asleep?" Cal's voice was barely audible. My brain heard him but I was too far gone to respond

He sighed softly. "I do love you Rose. I never wanted to let that happen. I saw what loving someone could do. My mother loved my father once." He pulled the covers up over my nude body. "I cant even begin to express how happy I am right now. Not only because of what we just did together but because it's my ring on your finger. You agreed to be my wife. And now here we are laying beside each other. You gave yourself freely to me. You are mine. I want to be different from my father but I'm a jealous man and I always let my anger get the better of me. I don't know what our future holds but I hope that you will come to see that I love you more than I have ever loved anything or anyone in my life."

"I love you Cal." It came out so softly that I wasn't sure he heard.

He kissed me softly on the cheek. "One day I hope to hear you say that to me when you are awake so that I know you really mean it."

He thought I was talking in my sleep. Maybe that was for the best, he hadn't really intended for me to hear all that he had said. He held me for a while, kissing me softly on the forehead a few times but by then I was fully asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

He was gone the next morning when I woke up. I frowned in disappointment. My whole body was sore and I had to move gingerly off the bed. I wrapped my silk robe around me and tied it closed. I picked up my clothes off the floor where Cal had dropped them as he removed each item from my body. I got lost for several minutes remembering how his body had felt on mine, how his kisses spread a scorching heat through my body, the unmistakable desire in his eyes when he had looked down at me. I smiled and laid my clothes on a nearby chair.

I was on my way to the bathroom when I saw a folded piece of paper sitting on my dresser. It had my name on top. I recognized Cal's handwriting.

 _Rose,_

 _I wish I could have stayed but we don't want to start the gossip that would surely come if I was caught sneaking out of your parent's house at the crack of dawn. Thank you for last night. I am beyond happy that you accepted my proposal. I have to go out of town for a couple of days but will be back soon and I will call on you then._

 _Cal_

I took a long hot bath hoping that it would ease the soreness in my muscles. As I laid in the bath my mind went over the details of the previous night. I was engaged, not sure how I felt about that just yet. I had been with a man, my fiancé. It was one of the best nights of my existence so far. Cal had professed his love for me while he thought I was asleep. I smiled as I recalled him saying the words out loud.

Maybe my father was right when he told me to open my heart to Cal. Cal wasn't perfect, he had his faults but then, so did I. Maybe we could be happier than our parents were in their own marriages. I wondered how hard it would be to get Cal to admit that he loved me when I was awake. He had talked about being afraid of being hurt as badly as his mother had when her only mistake was actually loving her husband. She had been abused and hurt so badly that she had taken her own life when Cal was sixteen or seventeen. Cal didn't want to experience that level of hurt and I could understand that. I was scared of being hurt too.

The night Cal got back into town he came over and had dinner with me. We never went back up to my room again but we did kiss, a lot. The time past quickly and my mother free month was quickly coming to an end. A few days before my parents were due to arrive Cal's father, Nathan invited me over for dinner. Cal picked me up and drove me to his father's. Cal and his father talked mostly about work while I sat listening quietly. After dinner Cal's stepmother invited me to her sitting room for tea while Cal and his father went to look over quarterly reports in the library. Cal's stepmother was friendly but boring. We sat in silence sipping our tea. After a while I excused myself to go to the restroom. I quietly walked past the library, the door was open slightly. Cal and his father were seated facing each other. Cal facing towards the door and his father's back was to the door. I stopped when I heard my name.

"Rose seems to be cooperating." Nathan's voice was much like Cal's but just a tad deeper.

"We are getting along well."

"So what did you do to convince her?"

"I did what I had to do."

Rose stood locked into place her mind reeling. Did what he had to do? What was he talking about?

"Son, I hope you did. This marriage is important to both our families."

"Trust me, I locked it down. Nobody needs to worry. Rose and I are as good as married. Like I said I did what I needed to do to win her over."

"What about that girl you were messing around with in Pittsburgh, what was her name? Mina, Melanie something?"

"Margaret and I took care of it last week. She won't be an issue."

"Good. I wasn't sure you had it in you. I thought I was going to have to step in and take control."

I stood staring at Cal through the crack in the door, my heart beating wildly. Cal was frowning at his father who was either oblivious or didn't care. When Nathan leaned over to grab a paper from the floor, Cal looked up at the door and straight into my eyes. I saw the moment he realized I had heard everything and his eyes widened. My eyes showed all the pain and betrayal my heart was being stabbed with. I turned and fled from the house. I heard Cal start towards the door but Nathan called him back demanding he look over the reports before he left. I didn't wait, I rushed out the door into the night air and practically ran all the way home. I knew Cal would be coming eventually, I couldn't avoid it. The staff had gone home early so I was alone. For the first time in a long time I wished I wasn't alone.

I went up to my room and sat on my bed waiting for the inevitable. I was still sitting there with my head in my hands when he entered my room.

"Rose, please let me explain."

I stood up my hands curled into tight fists at my side as I glared at him. "What's to explain? You set a plan in motion to make sure I was taken care of. Well congratulations you were very skilled at getting the job done."

"Rose, stop it!"

"No Cal, really I get it now. I finally get it. Here I thought your gestures of affection were sincere but you did keep warning me that I was your property. But silly me I kept looking for the good in you. I was the pathetic fool. Cal it's okay. I understand now. I really do. So here I am, Yours to do with as you please."

"Rose if you would stop being so stubborn and listen to me for once!"

"I have listened Cal! Listened as you told me your friendship was real, listened as you proposed and claimed our marriage would be happy and then finally listened when I heard the truth. It's okay Cal, you don't need to keep up the pretense. I get it, stop wasting your breathe."

"ROSE! You don't understand."

"Cal, I do understand. I am your property and as your property I am yours to do with as you please. So hey I already let you have everything I have to give. You can have it now anytime you want. So for once show me the real Caledon Hockley. SHOW ME! "

I crossed my arms over my chest waiting for him to come closer but he just stood in the doorway clinching his jaw.

"There is no need to hide it from me now. You got what you wanted and you didn't even have to fight that hard to get it. A tribute to your excellent skills. Your father should be proud."

He was scowling at me from across the room.

"What's the matter Cal? Has your father been right all this time? Are you too weak and stupid to take what rightfully belongs to you? Should I go to him and have him do the job for you as he suggested earlier?"

Cal growled and flew across the room grabbing my arms. "Stop this Rose, you don't know…"

I glared at him. "What's the matter? Suddenly too afraid to take what you claim is yours? Afraid maybe it might not be yours after all? That maybe I should belong to some other man?"

Something in him snapped and he threw me back onto the bed. He ripped his pants off while throwing my dress up exposing my lower half. He violently ripped my underwear off and forced himself into me with so much anger I thought I would rip in half. His thrusts were hard and angry. My body didn't react to his this time. I laid there with my eyes closed willing myself to not cry. When he finished, he jerked himself out of me and pushed himself off the bed.

"You are MINE Rose and no other man will have you, not so long as I live. And as you can see I am man enough to take what is mine. You would be wise to be careful how far you push me."

He buttoned his pants and left the room. I curled myself into a ball on the bed and released the sobs that had been building since I ran from Cal's house. I don't know how long I lay there crying when I heard him come back in.

"Rose, I…"

"Come back to finish the job?"

"Rose please stop! I came to apologize."

I laughed sarcastically as I stood up shoving my dress down to cover my legs. "I almost bought it."

"What?"

"The only other night we shared in this room. When you confessed to loving me when you thought I was sleeping. If it is true then what a pity for you to find yourself in love with me."

"I didn't think you had heard that. It's true Rose. I do, love you."

"The funny thing is you talked about how you were scared to love me or anyone for fear that you would be hurt just like your mother. But Cal, can't you see. You aren't your mother in this scenario."

"Rose please."

"You are your father's son. You are your father and I'm your mother in this scenerio. The only person in danger of being hurt is me. Perhaps it would be better if I did what she did before you put a baby in me. A baby that you would raise to continue the Hockley legacy. It would make things easier for you wouldn't it, if I killed myself like she did."

I regretted the words the minute they came out of my mouth. My fiery temper always made me say the worst things. Cal staggered backwards as if I had physically hit him. He recovered quickly and was in front of me before I could blink. He slapped me so hard I fell sideways onto the floor hitting my head on the wooden bed post. I was stunned senseless momentarily and then my hand grabbed my head.

"God damn it all to hell, Rose!"

I pulled my hand away from my head it felt wet. I looked down and saw the blood.

"Shit! Rose are you okay?"

My head was pounding and my cheek was already forming a bruise. Cal leaned down to help me up, I flinched away from him. He frowned but stepped away. I stood up slowly and sat on the edge of my bed. Cal got me a cold wet wash cloth and handed it to me. I gently placed it on my head where it was bleeding. I started crying and I could tell Cal wanted to come sit by me.

"Should I call a doctor."

"No. I will be fine." I managed to get out between sobs.

"Rose, I'm sorry. I am sure this confirms all the worst things you think about me. But I wish you would let me explain."

"I think you should leave. I, for one, have had enough for one night. Maybe tomorrow when we both aren't so… emotional, we can sit down and have that conversation."

"Rose, I can't leave you alone like this."

"Cal, if you ever felt anything for me, please just go."

He sighed and looked at me sadly. Once he left I laid down on the bed and cried myself to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

My head still hurt and sure enough I had a bruise on my cheek the next morning. I dressed myself and sat in my room staring out the window of my balcony not registering the time passing until the sun started to set. That was when Cal appeared. He kneeled down by my chair and looked up at me.

"Rose will you come down and have dinner with me?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Rose I am so sorry."

I waved him off.

"Rose I have something I need to tell you."

"Cal, honestly I don't want to talk about it. I understand now, I do. Let's just leave it."

"You don't understand at all but what I need to tell you has nothing to do with us."

I looked at him for the first time since he arrived.

"I received a telegram from your mother. Rose, Im so sorry but your father died this morning."

I stared at him for several moments. "No, you're lying. NO!"

"Rose I'm so sorry. I wish I were lying."

"How?"

"The doctors say he had a massive heart attack."

My father was gone. The only person who I knew I could trust and who loved me was gone. I dropped my head into my hands as the sobs tore through my body so hard I thought I would shatter into a million pieces. Cal picked me up and carried me to the bed. He held me when the sobs turned into hysteria and then back to sobs again. He held me when I was quiet and he held on even tighter when I raged against my mother and then at my father for leaving me alone with no one who loved me or that I could trust. And finally, when I was overcome with exhaustion, he lulled me to sleep, singing softly in my ear.

Cal stayed by my side until mother returned home. I wasn't good company for him. I only spoke when asked a direct question. I refused to eat most of the time. He seemed content to sit by my side in bed reading out loud to me. When my mother arrived Cal was forced to leave me and go back home.

Cal stood between my mother and I at the funeral holding us both up. He held onto my arm and ran interference afterwards at the wake. I appreciated him being there but it didn't change anything that had happened or that I had overheard that night at his father's house.

Thankfully by the time the funeral came around the bruise on my cheek was light enough I could cover it with a bit of powder and the cut on my forehead wasn't that bad. I easily explained it away by telling everyone I had smacked my head when I had gotten up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water.

The day after the funeral mother was back to her usual form. She noticed my ring at breakfast.

"Oh Rose, what a beautiful ring!"

I looked down at it. The ring suddenly feeling very heavy on my finger.

"When did he give it to you?"

"It was about a week after you and… left. He came over for dinner and then he proposed in the den afterwards. Obviously I accepted."

Mother came over and hugged me. "Rose I am so happy for you. We need to make the official announcement and get started on the wedding plans. How about a May wedding? That gives us four months to get everything organized and planned. I will have to consult Mr Hockley and see what his schedule looks like of course."

Mother continued on talking about wedding plans but I only listened enough to know when I was supposed to respond. The announcement was in the paper the next morning and she proudly held it up for me to see when I came down for breakfast. I did my best to appear happy and appreciative for her hard work.

After consulting Cal and his father their schedules were clear for May and plans moved full steam ahead. My May wedding date loomed over my head like a sword. Mother brought in a designer to design a custom wedding dress. I wasn't allowed to have any say in the design. The only thing I put my foot down on was the color of the bridesmaids dresses. I insisted on purple, not because I liked purple that much, I didn't not like purple but my main motivation was that I knew mother detested the color purple. I got tired of fighting with my mother over wedding details so I finally just nodded and smiled when she told me about the different arrangements.

Cal arranged to take my mother and I on a pre-wedding European tour. He felt we needed to get away from the stress of all the wedding details for a while. Cal and I hadn't seen each other much since my father's funeral. Mother and I would go to Cal's father's house occasionally for dinner but I remained quiet and distant when mother wasn't watching. When I knew her eyes were on me I played my part of the happy eager fiancee. Cal grew increasingly moody when we were alone but like me he put on a good show for our parents.


	8. Chapter 8

The trip with Cal and my mother was hard. I was rarely allowed any time alone and mother kept forcing Cal and I together. She forced Cal and I to go out to dinners alone, even though I tried to insist she come with us. The dinners were awkward to say the least. I missed our friendship but that friendship seemed to be gone. Too much had happened between us and I didn't know if we could ever get past it.

One evening during another one of mother's encouraged solo dinners Cal couldn't take my sullen silence any longer.

"Rose I wish you would accept my apology and let us get past all this."

"I wished I believed that you were sincere." I looked up into his eyes for the first time in days. My heart softened a little. "Cal, I am sorry, for provoking you and for saying what I did. It was wrong of me. I was angry and I felt betrayed. That doesn't excuse what I said though." I looked away from him, staring at the back of some woman's head that was sitting behind Cal.

"We both said and did things that night we didn't mean and can't take back. We didn't used to bring out the worst in each other Rose. Remember?"

"I remember, I miss those days when everything was so simple." I sighed softly as my mind sifted through the memories of when Cal and I were friends, we would sit in his father's library for hours with a pile of books around us. We laughed together and joked with each other. I looked down at the table. "But I'm not sure we can get back to that, after everything. I will try Cal. I can't promise anything but I will try."

He nodded. "I will make it up to you Rose, one way or another."

I did try, but it wasn't easy. I had to work to keep from flinching away from Cal every time he put his arm around me or snuck a kiss to my cheek. I forced myself to not frown when he held out his arm for me to take when we walked. When Cal tried to engage me in a conversation I did my best to respond and seem interested. I don't think I was managing that very well though. Every conversation ended the same. Cal scowling at me and storming out of the room. The last night of our trip before we were to head home I was laying in the dark, curled up on my bed, crying inconsolably. Crying for everything, my father, Cal, my life, the wedding. Cal slipped into my room. He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Rose" He reached up to wipe away a tear.

I moved away, his hand dropped to his side, the now familiar scowl appearing on his face. I turned my back to him.

"I'm fine."

"You're lying."

"What does it matter? It's not like you really care how I feel."

"It matters to me!"

"Now who is lying?"

"God damn it all to hell, Rose! When will you open your eyes?"

"Leave me alone." My voice was empty and barely above a whisper. I had nothing left to give, no fight in me. I felt my spirit slowing giving up, accepting that my life was a speeding train and I had no way to slow it down or stop it.

I don't know if Cal left my room right then or not. I never bothered to turn around and look. I lay on my bed lifelessly until I finally fell asleep. The next morning I acted like nothing had happened and went back to my feeble attempt of acting like the dutiful daughter and fiancee. Cal watched me with a raised eyebrow. I never wavered from my act. I smiled when I knew I was supposed to and commented when necessary. Cal finally shook his head and we went back to pretending to care about each other. By the time we boarded the Titanic to return home I was mentally exhausted.

The closer we got to the wedding the heavier the ring on my finger felt. I was overwhelmed with how alone I felt. Mother was oblivious to my mood, she was too self involved to notice my increasingly bad mood. Cal, spent much of his time with the other men, discussing what ever men discussed behind closed doors. The one person that had always been willing to lend a sympathetic ear, my father, was gone. He seemed to understand me more than anyone else in my life. Now for the first time I couldn't go to him.

The night I met Jack I was holding on to the back of the ship ready to end it all. Mother could talk of nothing else but my wedding, which was to a man I knew was only marrying me because his parents said he had to. He didn't love me, I had once thought I loved him but I wasn't sure that love existed in me anymore. I saw my future and it didn't look much different from Cal's mother's. My anger would always provoke him and then he would always retaliate. Then I saw our children and how they would be affected by it all. I would spend my life completely alone and miserable. I saw no other way out, until Jack.

Cal was livid with my relationship with Jack. That was no surprise to me. He had always warned me about how he would react. The night the ship struck the iceberg I had planned to sit down with Cal and mother in hopes that I could try to get them to listen to reason. I wanted a chance to be happy and I saw Jack as my chance. I planned to tell them that as soon as the ship docked I was not going home with them. I was going wherever Jack decided to go. Cal would be angry but I thought maybe with my mother in the room he would hold back some. I wasn't afraid of my mother she would yell and threaten me but I could take that. Cal was another matter.

I never got the chance to tell them though. The events of that night sped out of control so fast I never had a chance. When Jack died in the ocean waiting to be rescued something inside me broke and I retreated inwardly. I barely remember being lifted into the lifeboat that had come back looking for survivors and I barely remember being helped aboard the Carpathia. I sat in the steerage section so lost in my own mind that barely registered when someone sat next to me. I instantly recognized the faded smell of his aftershave. I leaned my head onto his shoulder not caring what had happened between us on board the Titanic. I was broken and alone. In that moment I desperately needed someone to be strong for me, to hold the pieces together. I needed thirteen year old Rose's friend Cal. He wrapped his arms around me and I let him hold me. I didn't cry I was too broken and numb. I knew the tears would eventually come and when they did I knew it would be bad.

Cal led me up to where the first class passengers had been gathered. My Mother was there and she hugged me, a real hug, for the first time in my life. She clung to me like a scared child clings to their mother. My arms hung limply at my sides but she didn't seem to notice. I didn't say a word to Cal, my mother or anyone the whole way to New York. I insisted on sleeping in Cal's arms, clinging to him when I woke from my nightmares. He would hold me tight and sing softly in my ear until I relaxed. When we docked in New York Mother, Cal and I went straight to the train station and got on the next train headed for Philadelphia. Mother slept on the train and Cal took that time to try and get me to talk to him.

"Rose, tell me what happened to you?"

I stared at him for a minute. "Before or after you tried to kill me?"

"Not you, darling."

"After we got away from you, Jack and I got trapped below decks and almost drowned when a steward dropped his keys in the rising water trying to open up a gate to let us through. He refused to dive for the keys and ran off. Thankfully Jack was able to get them and we barely made it before the water was over our heads. Then we made it back to the deck but all the lifeboats were gone. We ended up on the very back of the ship. When it rose up into the air we had to hang on to the rail and try not to fall to our deaths. Then the ship broke into two and the back half slammed down into the water. When the ship started to raise up in to the air again we climbed onto the outside of the rail and stayed there as the ship sunk into the water. We jumped off right as it was completely submerged. We were both almost drowned in the suction.

Jack managed to find me and brought me to a piece of wood from the ship. He helped me climb onto it so I was out of the water and then he hung on to the side. I was ready to give up for the second time since boarding the Titanic, I was so cold and tired. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep. It would have been so easy to just allow my body to slip away. But Jack made me promise to not give up, to not let go. By the time the lifeboat came back Jack was gone. I tried to wake him up but he was so pale and his lips were blue. When I realized he was dead I laid my head down and started to give in to the cold and exhaustion but then I remembered the promise I made. The promise to not give up, to live my life. And here I am."

"Rose, what do you mean for the second time?"

I wasn't sure if I should tell him how Jack and I had really met initially.

"Rose, I know you are about to hide something from me. Please, don't."

I sighed looking down at my hands. "Do you remember the night on the boat deck when everyone was accusing Jack of attacking me?"

Cal nodded, his expression darkened for a second.

"I told everyone that I had slipped while trying to see the propellors. That's not exactly what happened. I know you had been aware of my melancholy for a while. Everything I was feeling was overwhelming me. I was completely alone in a room full of people, everyone buzzing around me like I was invisible. I couldn't see any other way out. When I found myself at the back of the boat, I climbed over the railing and was leaning away from the boat, preparing to let go. That's when Jack and I first met. He talked to me and convinced me not do it. When he was helping me climb back over the railing my foot slipped and I would have fallen to my death if Jack hadn't held on and pulled me back to safety."

Cal was so still and quiet that I looked up at him finally. His eyes were looking at me full of panic. I knew the panic was not only for me. He had seen his mother throw her self off her third floor balcony to her death. He had been the one that rushed to her side. Holding her broken body as her life slipped away.

"Rose…" His voice barely audible.

"There is a lot for us to talk about but can we just wait a little while. I don't think I can deal with much more. I am barely holding on to everything now."

"Alright."

I retreated back into my own mind after that. I could feel the strings that were keeping my emotions under control slowing snapping loose one by one. By the time we arrived at my house tears were filling my eyes and my body was shaking. Mother left me with Cal and went upstairs to take a long hot bath. I collapsed in Cal's arms as all the events of that horrific night came rushing back. I was finally allowing myself to feel the pain. Cal carried me up the stairs to my room. He gently sat on the bed positioning himself so his back was against my headboard and he cradled me in his arms as sobs rocked my body against him. I cried until there were no tears left and then I lay there with my head against Cal's chest listening to his heartbeat.

"Why Cal? Why did you do it all? Falsely accusing him of stealing that necklace, slapping me again, trying to kill me?"

I felt his body tense. "Rose, are you sure you want to get into this right now?"

I nodded. He sighed.

"You are engaged to me Rose. And as much as you hate when I say it, you are mine. You promised me you would try and the minute we are aboard that cursed ship you met some boy and I could feel you drifting further from me. He was taking you away from me."

"Cal you don't love me. I heard you and your father that night. You were doing what you had to do to secure my hand. So to me your reaction was not because you were losing someone you loved but because you felt like something you owned was stolen from you."

"Rose, you really have no clue about my feelings. I tell my father a lot of things, mostly I tell him what he wants to hear so that I don't have to deal with his anger. If he knew that I loved you he would openly mock me for my weakness in allowing myself to fall for you. He would be cruel about it. So I played along with him."

"Okay, so let's say I believe that. What about the girl you say you took care of the around the same time that you and I spent the evening with each other in this room?"

"Yes, there was a woman that I had been seeing. She was not someone my father would have approved of me marrying, nor did I want to marry her. I hadn't seen her in over a month but she kept writing. I wanted to ignore her letters figuring she would give up soon when she received no reply but father insisted I take care of it in person. So I went to Pittsburgh and explained that I was engaged and it would no longer be appropriate for me to have contact with her."

"Why didn't you tell me all that?"

"Rose, I tried that night but you wouldn't listen to a word I said."

We sat quietly for a few moments both remembering that night.

"You shot a gun at me Cal. Slapping me, being rough with me in bed are bad enough but shooting a gun at me is something else entirely."

"I wasn't aiming at you."

"You weren't aiming at all you were just shooting. You could have easily hit me instead of him. You could have easily killed me. How am I supposed to live with that?"

"Rose, I cant even begin to justify my actions so I wont try. I am sorry for how I acted but can you not see my side of it at all?"

"I… cant see myself ever resorting to shooting at you or hitting you."

"No, you just throw words at me with the same force a boxer uses to throw punches."

I flinch at his words, remembering the night I went too far and taunted him with his mother's suicide.

We sat in silence for a while before he spoke again.

"You were seriously going to end your life because of me? I was really that bad that you felt that was your best option?" The pain in his voice was almost palpable.

"It wasn't just you Cal. Mother, Father, everything. I often feel suffocated by it all. The expectations and obligations mother forces on me. Her constant criticisms added with your cruel treatment. I never felt more alone than I did during that trip. Nobody really listened to me, what I wanted, what I was feeling. I felt like I could have stood and screamed at the top of my lungs and nobody would have even acknowledged I was there."

"I tried talking to you Rose but you were so closed off. I tried!"

"You tried?! When I did speak, did you really listen? You were so busy trying to control me and claiming ownership that even if I had completely opened up you wouldn't have heard anything I said."

We sat in silence again for a while. Both lost in thought, our minds replaying the events that had led us to this point.

"Can you forgive me? Can we get past this Rose?"

"I really don't know Cal. Some things are hard to forget."


	9. Chapter 9

"What did he give you that I can't or don't?"

I pushed away from him looking into his face. "He awakened something in me that I always kept pushed down. I want more than this life." I gestured towards my large room filled with books and fancy clothes.

"I want freedom, adventure, I want to ride a horse like a man, I want to go on a trip with no idea where I'm going, allowing the wind to take me where it wants. I want to ride roller coasters until I'm sick. I don't want to sit night after night in some mundane dinner party with people I can't stand. I don't want to hear my mother constantly criticisms. I want to be accepted for who I am. I want to be loved unconditionally and passionately. Jack showed me that was all possible. He was willing to give me that life."

"What do you mean he was going to give you that life?"

I looked down at my hands. Cal put a finger under my chin and lifted my face until I looked at him.

"I had made a decision the night the Titanic struck the iceberg. When we arrived in New York I wasn't going to come home with you and Mother. I was going to follow Jack wherever he decided to go."

I watch Cal trying to fight the rising anger. I also saw pain flicker in his eyes but he tried to hide it.

"So the plan was to break our engagement and you would go off with him. Were you planning to marry him?"

"No… I don't know, maybe. We really didn't have any plan at all. That was part of the adventure."

"Did you ever once consider that I could give you these kinds of adventures if you asked me to?"

I snorted. "Your father would never allow such a thing. He keeps you too busy with work, there would be no way he would allow you to take time off to just wander aimlessly for a few weeks."

"My father won't live forever Rose and then I will be free to do as I please."

"Right, like riding roller coasters or traveling around the world without a plan appeals to you."

"I have never ridden a roller coaster or traveled without a solid itinerary so how would you or I know if I liked that sort of thing or not?"

"It's not just about roller coasters and travel Cal. He respected me, he talked to me, he allowed me to breathe."

"And you think I never did that for you? How can you lie to yourself like that? I respected you from the time you were thirteen and you told me about your book collection. We used to talk all the time before you started shutting me out and keeping secrets from me. I have always tried to give you space when you needed it or to be by your side when you needed me."

I opened my mouth to respond but Cal kept going.

"I have made huge mistakes along the way but after you found out about the plan our parents had made for us to marry you turned on me. It was their plan not mine! I was pushed into it just as much as you were but I didn't resent you for it! Did I want to spend so much time with a thirteen year old, hell no! But once I met you and we started to get to know each other it didn't seem so bad.

I realized I was falling in love with you when I went shopping for your birthday present. I only planned to get the books but I walked by the jewelry shop and that bracelet was sitting in the window. The way the light hit the sapphires reminded me of how your blue eyes sparkle when you laugh at me as I make fun of a simpering man in one of your Jane Austen novels. I suddenly had to get that bracelet for you. I couldn't stop thinking of you the rest of that day. It drove me mad. When I watched you unwrap the bracelet I was a nervous wreck, it was so important to me that you liked it. I don't think you realized how you looked at me after you opened the jewelry box. Your eyes overflowed with adoration and even love for me. I have seen the same look from other women before and it always causes me to run but when you looked at me like that I was filled with such happiness. When you allowed me to put the bracelet on your wrist I began to believe that we could make this relationship really work in spite of how it was started."

Cal watched me for a minute. He seemed to be making sure I was comprehending everything he was saying.

"Then when you found out about the marriage arrangements you changed. The Rose who confided in me, who smiled so openly at me was gone. You changed into this angry, quiet, closed off Rose and it bothered me. Nothing I said or did seemed to be good enough. You questioned everything I said."

"You kept the secret along with them. You only took an interest in me out of obligation and then every time you would visit it wasn't out of your undying need to see me, you were there out of duty. Like when my parents left on their trip after my party. You showed up not because you wanted or needed to see me. You said you showed up because my parents asked you to check up on me while they were gone. Our whole relationship was an obligation to you."

"I used that as an excuse. That was my way to get to see you Rose. Because honestly what twenty-six year old man is going to tell a thirteen year old girl that he came over to her house just to see her beautiful smile? It's creepy. Then when you were older and I had started to care for you I didn't want to scare you. And I didn't want to admit to myself that I cared for you because I didn't want to get hurt when you rejected me.

Ever since you found out about my knowledge of the marriage plan you have not given me a fair shot. You are quick to judge me and slow allow me to explain anything. And now you tell me that you were going to run off with some boy you met three days prior. How do you expect me to react to that?"

"I expected you to react like you did. Which is why Jack and I had planned to tell you and mother together. I knew you would both be angry and try to drag me away but I thought if mother was in the room you would at least attempt to control any physical retaliation. You ended up chasing us around the ship with a gun any ways."

"Rose you are mine! And before you go spouting off about me thinking of you as property I would like to explain something to you. You are mine, you are the other half of my soul. When I am with you I feel complete. I never knew I was missing something until you came into the picture. Suddenly my life felt like it had been turned upside down. When you weren't around I never felt right, but the minute you walked into the room I felt calm and everything inside me seemed to finally feel like it was in the right place again. I know you felt it that night we were together. I saw it in your eyes. You were made for me, no one else. Therefore you are mine and I will fight to the death to hold on to that."

"You hurt me, Cal. I can't just forget that and I am not sure you wouldn't do it again if I made you mad enough."

"In case you forgot, you hurt me as well. Do you think my heart is so hard that seeing you with that boy didn't hurt me? It killed me Rose."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything."

I could tell Cal was fighting to keep his anger in check. But I honestly didn't know how I felt. Everything was so mixed up in my head. Jack, Cal, the sinking of the Titanic, Jack's death. I sighed in frustration.

"I guess we have a lot to think about. I will give you some space to sort everything out. When you are ready to talk, you know where I will be."

I moved off Cal's lap and he got up off the bed. He started to walk towards the door but he stopped and turned, coming back to the bed. When his hands reached for me I flinched back. His jaw clinched and he frowned but he didn't pull back. He gently but firmly grabbed my face in his hands and brought his lips softly to mine. His hand wrapped around the back of my head holding me to him as lips enveloped mine. I released a soft moan against his mouth when I felt his tongue run along the curve of my lips. I allowed his tongue to push it's way into my mouth our tongues moved together perfectly in sync. I felt the electric current flow through every nerve. My body betrayed me responding to his lips willingly allowing him to take ownership of them. I had to grab the edge of the bed to keep my hands from reaching up and pulling Cal closer. He nippled at my lower lip and I almost lost the last shred of will power holding me back from wrapping myself around him.

Then just as quickly as the kiss started he pulled away, releasing his hands from my hair. I held back a frustrated groan. He looked down at me and smiled.

"See, that look in your eyes, right there. You feel it too. You were made for me."

Cal turned and left my room. I sat on my bed staring at my door.


	10. Chapter 10

Almost every night for the next two weeks I woke up shaking uncontrollably and screaming. After the first week my mother went to see Cal. He sent a doctor to our house who prescribed me a sedative to try to help me sleep and lessen the nightmares. My mother stood watch every night making sure I took the medicine before bed but the nightmares kept coming.

One night it was particularly bad, she tried soothing me but it wasn't helping. That was when Mother sent her maid with explicit instruction to demand Cal come over and do something. I am not sure exactly what she expected him to do. And I wasn't sure I wanted to see him. When she wasn't looking I took two more pills and was pretty much out of it by the time Cal arrived. I thought it would knock me out enough that I would be unconscious while he was there. Unfortunately, it made me feel as if I was very drunk before eventually allowing me to fall asleep. It also didn't keep the nightmare from waking me up again before the drunk-like effect wore off.

He sent mother to bed and came into my room. He stood looking unsure for a moment before finally sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Rose, are you awake?"

"Yes, no, hah! maybe?." My words slightly slurred.

"Are you drunk?"

I giggled. "No. It's a medicine. Doctor gave it to me. Feels nice."

He found the bottle on the bedside table.

"A sedative."

"Yep that's it."

I stared at his brown eyes. "You have such beautiful eyes." Maybe taking the extra pills had been a bad idea.

His eyebrow arched upward. "Thank you. But I think your eyes are more beautiful."

My hands reached for him, I managed to grab his jacket and pulled him to me. Clumsily I brought my lips to his. He kissed me lightly and then pulled away. I let go of his jacket and frowned.

"I wish…" I dozed of for a minute.

"What do you wish Rose?"

My heavy eyelids slowly slid open. "I wish that you loved me like I loved you." My eyes closed again.

"What makes you think I don't?"

"You're always pushing me away. Never tell me you love me… only hurt me. Killing… You don't.. trust… confide. Sometimes just want you… hold and never let go." Words were becoming difficult to form and I was losing my train of thought mid sentence.

Cal looked at me in confusion. "What do you want from me now Rose?"

"Don't leave me alone out here. It's so cold and dark. I can't hear the people anymore. Where are they? Please don't leave me." I was lost in the nightmare now.

"I won't leave you Rose. I'm right here."

"So cold."

He climbed into bed behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I snuggled closer to him, he was so warm. When I woke up shaking and screaming an hour later he was still there beside me. He held me even tighter and started singing softly. I stopped screaming and buried my head in the crook of his neck. I laid there silently wrapped in his arms. I was confused by how safe I felt in that moment. After all that Cal had put me through I couldn't understand how my body could feel safe with him. I thought about what he had said about me being created for him, his other half. It started to make sense to my sedated brain.

"My other half." I whispered.

"Yes. You are my other half and I'm yours."

"I feel safe."

"I promise to do my best to keep your safe from now on."

"Cal?"

"Hmm?"

"You love me?"

"Yes, more than I realized."

I turned around to face Cal. I smiled at him sleepily. He smiled back.

"You should smile more. Your eyes are hypnotizing when you do."

"You should try to sleep Rose." He kissed my forehead.

"Soft lips." I reached my fingers up lightly tracing the curve of his lips.

He took my hand kissing each finger tip and then the palm.

"Cal?"

"Yes?"

"Will I remember any of this in the morning?"

"I sincerely hope so."

My body was relaxing again as I drifted back to sleep. Thankfully, I was able to sleep for a few hours without a nightmare. Cal stayed with me the rest of the night and was beside me when I finally woke up.

When I woke up the next morning I was on my back and Cal was asleep beside me. His arms were wrapped around my chest and his leg laying over thighs. I laid there staring at the ceiling remembering the conversation from the night before. It was a bit cloudy but I could remember most of it. Cal seemed different somehow. Some of the things I had told him our first night back at home would normally have caused an angry outburst, one that would have ended up with me being slapped or yelled at. I had seen the anger in his face but I also saw him fighting desperately to keep it in check. His actions on the Titanic were inexcusable. I had hurt him, purposefully angered him but that didn't justify all that he had done. How could we move on from all that? What about what he had said about me being his other half, that I was created for him? I felt an undeniable pull towards Cal but there was also a strong pull away from him, out of fear I think. When he kissed me it felt like all the pieces of my being became perfectly aligned. When Jack and I had kissed it was different but still wonderful. When I was with Jack, it felt wild and out of control, it was exciting.

Cal wanted me to open up to him, to be completely honest. I knew there was one more thing I had to share with him and somewhere in the back of my head I knew this could be the one truth that would end it all. It could potentially make my decision for me.

I turned onto my side facing Cal, his eyes opened slowly. Still half asleep he smiled and pulled me closer gently kissing my lips. I felt the familiar pull as the parts of my soul fell into perfect alignment. My body instinctively relaxed and Cal deepened his kiss. I placed my hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. He reluctantly allowed me to break the kiss. It was now or never. I took a deep breath.

"Cal, there is one last thing you need to know about what happened with Jack and I."

He rolled onto his back running his hands through his hair. "What more is there? He saved you from killing yourself, he allowed you to be what you don't think you could be with me and you planned to go running off with him when we got to New York. I think that about covers it."

"You claim I became secretive and closed off from you after I found out about our parent's plan for us. I don't want to be that person anymore. I have told you almost everything. But in order for us to move forward in whatever direction fate has in store, you need to know everything. Even if it hurts. Unless you would you rather I not?"

"Now that I know there is something else it will bother me until I eventually get you to tell me any ways."

I sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard. I watched his face for a moment. I knew I was about to hurt him, anger him but that couldn't be helped. I only hoped he had really been changed. He looked up at me, seeing the seriousness he sat up on the bed and faced me.

I took a deep breath. "Cal, the night I made the decision to leave with Jack after the ship docked, he and I had… Well, we uh…" I looked down at my hands and took another deep breath. "Jack and I had been intimate." The words hung in the air as I waited for his reaction. I looked up at Cal. I didn't feel ashamed of what Jack and I had done. We had fallen hard for each other and it had felt so right being with him. I wasn't sorry it had happened.

I watched Cal clinch his jaw, his hands curled into fists. He looked at me alternating between anger and pain. I waited for the explosion that I knew would happen any moment. I brought my knees up to my chest, curling my body around them preparing to protect myself. The explosion didn't happen. Cal fought hard against his instinct to strike out at me. We sat staring at each other for a few minutes before he finally spoke.

"Is that all? Is there anything else?"

"You know everything."

He nodded and looked away from me. "You should know your mother is going forward with the wedding preparations. We are only two weeks from the date."

He wouldn't look at me. I sighed. "What do we do?"

"I leave that decision up to you darling. But do me a favor? Let me know before I show up at the church. I really don't want to be publicly embarrassed when my fiancée never shows."

"But Cal, shouldn't we talk about it? Figure out what's best together?"

"You already know how I feel, not that my feelings ever seem to matter. Besides, you have been deciding what's best for our relationship all on your own for months. I am sure you will figure it out without any help from me. Now, I must go home and change. Father will be expecting me at the office."

He stood stiffly and walked out of the room, never looking at me. I stared after him my head more confused than before. I couldn't understand why but watching Cal leave like that hurt. I fought back the tears wishing my father were here.


	11. Chapter 11

_"_ _Open your heart to him Rose."_

Would my father still feel the same if he had been around to witness all that Cal had done?

" _Your mother changed a lot after our engagement was announced."_ I hadn't believed my father at the time. How could someone change so completely?

 _"_ _Then when you found out about the marriage arrangements you changed. The Rose who confided in me, who smiled so openly at me was gone and you changed into this angry, quiet, closed off Rose…"_ Cal's words would haunt me for the rest of the day.

I was quiet and sullen. Mother tried to discuss last minute wedding issues with me but I would ask her to handle it and go back my thoughts. I obediently participated in my final dress fitting. I had lost a bit of weight since the last time I had tried on the dress. The seamstress shook her head in dismay. She was going to have to take in the waist a lot. Gifts arrived daily, our den and library were becoming overrun. Mother insisted that we spend every afternoon opening each package in order to catalog the gifts, which I did but with no enthusiasm. I wrote down what mother told me paying little attention to the words I was writing. After one such afternoon mother screeched at me.

"Rose, what in heavens name is wrong with you? You are only days away from your wedding. You should be excited, stressed or well anything! Instead you are walking around like an empty shell. And what girl wouldn't show at least a little excitement over all the wonderful gifts our friends have been sending you and Cal."

"Mother honestly, I don't see what all the fuss is about. Once you have seen one gold candlestick holder you have seen them all."

"Look down at the gift you just pulled out of that box. LOOK AT IT!"

"Seriously Mother I.." My mouth hung open mid-sentence as I finally looked down at what was in my hands. It was a leather bound signed first edition copy of Pride and Prejudice. I held it reverently. Carefully I opened the book to the title page. My finger traced Jane Austen's signature. I closed the book and looked for the box it had come in. When I found it there was a slip of white paper still stuck inside. I pulled it out and looked down at the familiar handwriting.

 _Rose,_

 _I found this during our visit in England and I knew I had to buy it for you. We both know how I feel about this particular book but you have such an intense passion for it, so much so that you vehemently defended it that night in my father's den. That night was the night I realized how much respect I had for you, I was quite bewildered by that. I was also shocked that I had come to be quite fond of you. Me, Caledon Hockley, not only respected a thirteen year old girl but actually thought of her as one of my closest friends._

 _I know that things have been strained between us Rose, but please know that I really and truly love you. I have never loved anyone like I love you. I try so hard to be a decent man, to live up to my promise to your father, but when it comes to you I am not exactly rational. I know I am making mistakes and am bound to make more. I only hope I don't make any big enough to cause irreparable damage to our relationship. I am not sure what I would do if I thought I had lost you. Hopefully, I never have to find out._

 _Cal_

I wasn't aware of my mother reading the letter over my shoulder. Until she spoke.

"What does he mean things have been strained between you Rose? What did you do?"

"Why do you always assume it's me that causes all the problems?"

She frowned at me. "Are you saying it was all Mr Hockley's doing?"

I sighed. "No."

"Rose whatever is going on in that brain of yours you need to get over it. Your wedding is in three days. Accept that and be happy your father and I provided you with such good husband."

"Mother! You only think he is a good choice because of his bank account. If you knew everything maybe you wouldn't think so highly of him."

"I have known the Hockley's a lot longer than you have young lady and I know exactly what kind of a boy and now man your Caledon is. You are lucky to have him."

"Seriously Mother if you like him so much why don't you marry him?"

My mother narrowed her eyes at me and I knew I was real close to stepping over a line. I bit my lip.

"Rose is this about that boy? The one you met on the Titanic?"

"No, it's not about Jack!" Tears filled my eyes. 

My mother looked at me for several minutes. "Rose I know you think you loved him but he isn't what I want… He isn't what your father would have wanted for you. Your father believed that Mr Hockley was the right choice. I understand more than you think I do. I once believed that my heart knew more than my parents did about what was the better choice. But I was wrong and they were right. Your father was a good husband. I wouldn't have been so lucky if I hadn't listened to my parents."

She stood without saying another word and left me alone. I held the book from Cal against my chest and walked around the room looking at all the gifts. There were so many. Begrudgingly I admitted I liked a lot of them. The silver tea set had a beautiful etched design. There were numerous silver and gold candlestick holders. They made me think of the dinner Cal had set up the night he proposed. I turned to leave the room. Mother was standing in the doorway watching me. As I walked past she handed me an envelope.

"It's from your father." She said before she walked away.

My hand shook as I carried my book and the letter up to my room. I quietly shut my door and crawled into the middle of my bed. Placing the book by my side I turned my attention to the envelope. I traced each letter of my name that my father had carefully written on the front of the envelope. I slowly turned it over and paused only a second before I opened it and pulled the folder paper out. I placed the envelope beside my book and unfolded the white piece of paper.

 _My sweet Rose,_

 _I plan to give you this letter on the eve of your wedding day. I am so proud of the woman you have grown in to. You are strong, beautiful and intelligent. I have also watched Caledon grow up and he has the potential to be a good man. He seems to take after his mother more than his father which I think is a good thing. Nathan is good at business because he is ruthless but that doesn't translate well into his personal life. I know that Caledon can, at times, be hard and his temper can get the better of him, but I don't see the same kind of ruthlessness that his father has._

 _The last time we talked I told you a little about your mother and I. Our marriage was arranged like your own. I know you didn't believe me at the time but your mother was very much like you before our engagement. When she initially refused to accept our engagement and demanded to be allowed to marry, John, the other man, I didn't react kindly. That evening her parents gave her no choice but to end the relationship with him. I saw the stubbornness and rebellion in her eyes. I knew she was plotting something so I waited outside her parent's house. When she snuck out a few hours later I followed her. She was going to meet John and they were planning to run off together. I was so angry that she would choose this man over me. We hadn't talked or spent a lot of time together but I had always admired her from afar. So when our parent's told me of their plans I wasn't opposed._

 _I grabbed your mother and pulled her away from John. She tried to yank her arm away from me but I tightened my grip causing her to whimper in pain. John came towards me ready to defend the woman he loved. He never got the chance, I let go of your mothers arm and all my fury released itself as I punched him over and over. Your mother tried pulling me off John but I was too strong. Finally, she started begging and pleaded. I stopped and looked down at John who was no longer trying fight back, he was unconscious. His face was bloody and starting to swell. I could have easily killed him. I think your mother sensed how close I was to doing just that when she bargained for his life. She agreed to give him up and marry me if I would not kill him. I left him laying there and dragged your mother by the arm back to her parent's house._

 _That was when your mother changed, she became angry and hard. I felt bad later, for what I had done, but at the time I felt completely justified in my actions. I fear that Caledon may one day make that same kind of mistake with you. I will not justify his actions to you but take it from someone who has loved a Dewitt-Bukator woman, it is an all consuming kind of love. It can make the strongest man do things he wouldn't normally do. You and your mother have some sort of power over men that causes us to not think clearly where you are concerned. I never thought of myself as a jealous man but I know Caledon is. This may make it even harder for him to be in control._

 _Try to be forgiving and sensitive if you can Rose. Try not to judge him too harshly, remember your dear old father wasn't much different once and I like to think I have been a good husband and father._

 _I will always be here for you Rose, even after Caledon makes you his wife. You can come to me with anything. I will do my best to be fair and objective. I love you more than you know my sweet daughter._

 _All my love,_

 _Daddy_

"Oh daddy, I wish you were here now. I need you now more than ever." I folded the letter and placed it back into the envelope before I slipped it into the drawer of my bedside table.

I looked down at the book laying beside me on the bed. My fingers lightly running along the edges of the cover. Mother barged into my room without knocking as usual.

"Rose dear we just received an invitation for dinner tonight from Nathan. I am sending Trudy in to help you get dressed."

"Ok Mother."

"Wear the dark blue dress we got in Paris. It accentuates your pale skin and eyes beautifully."

I glared at her retreating back. Trudy came in a few minutes later and we began the process of making myself presentable to mother's standards.

The dress mother had chosen was an understated blue sheer overlay that covered a dark blue silk. The sleeves were see through and short. There was a lot of fabric that gathered on each shoulder with a white flower holding the fabric in place allowing the sleeves to flow weightlessly around my arm. The neck line was low enough to barely expose my skin just below the base of my neck. The waist was pulled tight by a thick white ribbon that tied into a bow at the back. From the waist down the fabric was allowed to fall freely and pool around my feet. One side of the overlay was pulled up exposing the darker blue silk that was underneath. The overlay was pinned in place at my upper thigh with a larger flower that matched those on my shoulders. The material was longer in the back and trailed behind me in a short train as I walked.

Trudy pinned half of my hair up while letting the rest hang in loose waves down my back. I decided to wear the bracelet Cal had gotten me for my birthday and Trudy picked a coordinating necklace and earring set. I was examining myself in the mirror when Mother came in.

"You have such a lovely figure. I'm glad I insisted you get that dress." Mother smiled in satisfaction. It's time to go Rose."

I smiled a thanks at Trudy and followed my mother. When we arrived at the Hockley's my stomach was in knots. I hadn't seen Cal since the morning I told him about Jack and I. I didn't know what to expect. I kept glancing down at my engagement ring, twirling it around my finger. My father's letter was fresh in my mind and I was forced to reexamine all of Cal's actions with my knowledge of my father. For once Mother had remained silent while we rode in the car, allowing me time to think.

Cal was still at the office when we arrived. Nathan led us to the library for pre-dinner drinks. Mother, Nathan and his wife were talking about the latest news, leaving me alone with my thoughts. When Cal came in I was standing by one of the bookshelves absently reading the titles. I felt his eyes on me, I turned slowly to look at him. He looked down at my wrist and saw the bracelet. I felt my cheeks blush and I looked back to the bookcase. He grabbed a glass of scotch and then came to stand beside me.

"Hello Rose, you look well."

I felt suddenly safer the minute he was next to me. My body relaxing but my stomach was still full of butterflies. I inhaled his familiar scent.

"I am better. How are you?"

"I'm alright."

I wanted to touch his face, run my fingers along his jawline and up into his hair. I wanted to feel his soft lips on my neck. My eyes wandered to his lips they were so soft. Cal cleared his throat and my cheeks burned. I immediately diverted my eyes back towards the bookshelf. Cal and I sat in our usual spots during dinner. I tried to concentrate on the conversation going on around me but my mind kept wandering back to my father's letter. Thankfully after dinner Nathan had to go out and Mother and Cal's stepmother retreated to the sitting room. Cal and I were left alone in the library.

Cal poured us both a brandy, I gulped mine down. He raised one eye brow and poured me another glass. I tried to sip this one more slowly but soon my glass was empty again. We sat in silence for a few minutes before Cal reached for my hand.

"Let's take a walk through the garden. It's a nice night outside and I need the fresh air."

I let him take my hand and lead me out the door to the garden. My body was feeling relaxed and warm from the brandy. We had walked a ways from the house when I stopped and turned towards him. I wanted to say so many things but the minute my eyes looked at his lips again I was lost. My hand reached up to his face and lightly ran my fingers up his jawline. I loved how the hint of stubble on his jaw and cheek felt on my soft hands. My fingers absently ran through the back of his hair before moving back towards his jaw line. My other hand gripped his coat collar pulling him closer. My lips softly kissed his chin before kissing my way along his jaw and down to his neck. Cal wrapped his arms around my back resting his hands at the base of my spine holding me to him. I nipped at the soft skin behind his ear, his soft moan sending electric shocks through me. He pulled away slightly causing me to look up at him, his hand cupped the side of my face his fingers hidden in my hair and his thumb over my jawline. His mouth covered mine, he sucked at my lower lip. When his tongue slipped into my mouth I felt my body melt into his. I wrapped my arms around his neck. My other half.

Too soon he pulled away and our lips parted. I frowned slightly and he grinned at me.

"As much as I enjoy your kisses, I think you wanted to talk to me about something?"

I sighed and nodded. "Thank you for the book."

He looked confused for a split second and then he smiled. "I wondered when it would arrive. You are very welcome."

"The last time we talked you asked for a favor from me."

His expression turned serious. "Yes. I asked that you let me know if you weren't going to show up for the wedding. So have you made your choice then?"

"Cal, Im so scared. Scared of being hurt. Scared of becoming like my mother."

"Scared of me."

"Yes, I guess a part of me is scared of you. I can't go through life scared that something I do or say will make you angry enough that you will umm…"

"That I will hit you or worse."

I looked down at the ground.

"Do you love me Rose? Even a little?"

I closed my eyes trying to hold back the tears, nodding slowly.

"Have you decided to break our engagement?"

"I hadn't decided what I wanted to do until this afternoon. I have been so confused and scared. Titanic changed me, Jack changed me. Even you changed me. I didn't know how I felt about anything because it was all so jumbled up. And then the nightmares override everything and all I feel is fear and heartache."

"What happened this afternoon to make you finally decide?"

"My mother handed me a letter from my father. He had intended to give to me himself on the eve of our wedding. I don't want to share that letter right now, maybe someday but it's the last thing I have from him and I need to hold onto it for a while."

"Of course Rose."

"But basically he shared something with me that helped me to look at everything between you and I and between me and Jack. I was able to look at it from another point of view and then I knew what my decision was."

Cal waited, his expression looked so sad and defeated that I moved closer to him. I hugged him tightly, resting my head against his chest.

"I will be at the church on Saturday and I will marry you."

Cal's expression changed instantly and he picked me up, holding me against his chest.

"Oh Rose…" He whispered as he buried his head against my neck.


	12. Chapter 12

We didn't see each other again until the wedding day. Cal sent me flowers the day before our wedding. I placed the vase of flowers along with the card that had come with them on my bedside table. The message on the card was short and sweet making me smile every time I read it. _I love you and cannot wait to give you my name tomorrow. Then our adventure will begin. -Cal_

Mother woke me up early Saturday. I was pushed into the bathtub where maids scrubbed every inch of me until I felt raw. I tried to protest but mother wasn't having any of my attitude. I did, however, enjoy having my hair washed. I felt myself relaxing as my head was massaged and my hair soaped up. After I was dried off and my dressing gown was tied around me Mother had a small breakfast brought to my room. I sat nibbling at the food, my stomach was too nervous to eat much. Finally a maid came and took the tray of food away. Trudy came in to help me put on my undergarments and lace me up into my corset. For once I was thankful for its tightness as it seemed to help settled my stomach. Mother came in to supervise Trudy as she arranged my hair. Poor Trudy had to re-do it three times before mother was satisfied. I was relieved when it was time to put on the dress, that meant the process was almost over. It took three maids to slip the dress over my head and then lace up the back

I had to admit it was a beautiful dress. A mix of lace and satin with gold embellishments. The dress flowed to the floor and the train extended several feet behind me. My small waist was accentuated by a tight satin ribbon trim and the fullness of the fabric as it flowed out from the ribbon. My veil was so long it ran down my back extending the whole length of the train. I put on the bracelet Cal had given me and stood waiting on mother to help me down the stairs and out to the waiting car.

When the driver pulled up to the church my stomach started doing flip flops. I kept taking as deep a breath as the corset would allow trying to calm myself. Mother helped me out of the car and handed me my bouquet. She kissed my cheek before disappearing into the church. Cal's father was going to walk me down the aisle in place of my father. He walked to my side and put my hand under his arm. I smiled at him.

"I choose well for my son. You have your mother's good looks and that mixed with the Hockley blood will produce strong attractive offspring."

I wasn't sure how to take that so I just kept my mouth shut.

"I heard what happened with that gutter rat on the Titanic." Nathan sneered at me.

I looked up at him in shock, had Cal told his father? But why? As if sensing my question Nathan laughed but it wasn't a friendly laugh.

"Your mother talks, a lot."

I frowned, of course my mother would have told Nathan all about it.

The doors of the church were opening and it was almost time to start making our way down the aisle but Nathan wasn't quite finished with me yet.

"If I ever see or hear of you behaving like that again, what happened to Cal's mother will be the least of your worries. He may not try to keep you in your place but I have no qualms with stepping in to take care of it and I think you know enough about me to know what I can do. "

When the doors fully opened Nathan was looking down at me his eyes threatening and I was looking up at him my eyes full of fear. He smiled in satisfaction. He liked when people were afraid of him, it made him feel powerful.

"Now, smile and play the innocent pretty bride." Nathan's voice was hard and I felt myself shudder. I wanted to rip my hand from his arm but he grabbed my hand and squeezed it so hard I almost cried out in pain.

I turned and faced the church as Nathan led me through the doors. Cal was watching his father and I with growing concern. Tears filled my eyes, people smiled at me assuming I was just so overcome with love for Cal. When we got to the front of the church Nathan bent down to kiss my cheek and I flinched ever so slightly, only Cal was close enough to see my reaction. He frowned at his father as he took my hand and led me away.

The wedding was quick. Before I knew it we were kissing and being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Caledon Hockley. I tried to keep my eyes from Nathan's but I could see him out of the corner of my eye looking at me. Cal led me out of the church and into the car waiting to take us to Cal's father's house where our reception was being held. Once we were in the car I left out a long breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding in.

"What happened with you and my father?"

"Oh, um. It was nothing."

"Rose, I have known my father my whole life. I recognize the look on his face when he was talking to you outside the church. To most other people it may have looked like an innocent chat but I know better."

"Cal, really I'm okay. Let's just enjoy our wedding day. Please?"

He looked at me for a moment. "Okay, I will drop the subject for today. But tomorrow you will tell me. No arguments."

I nodded. I put my hand in his and smiled. He was momentarily distracted from the subject of his father. When we got to Cal's parent's house Trudy was waiting in Cal's room to help me get ready for the reception. She replaced my veil with a gold and diamond tiara. My train was lifted and neatly fastened to buttons hidden in the folds of the fabric. If you hadn't seen the dress in the church you would have not been able to tell that there had been a train.

Cal stayed by my side practically the whole afternoon. He did his best to steer me away from his father. Finally, Cal led me back to his room where Trudy and a few other maids were waiting to help me out of my wedding dress and into my going away clothes. When Cal came back he had changed out of his tux and into a more casual suit. He took my hand leading me down the stairs and towards the front door. Everyone had gathered by the door to send us off on our honeymoon. Mother hugged me briefly. Cal's father stopped us at the door and leaned down to hug me. I gripped Cal's arm tightly.

"Remember what I said young lady. I don't make idle promises. I won't let you make a fool out of my son or embarrass the Hockley name like his mother." Nathan whispered so low that only I could hear. Cal pulled me away from his father and out the door. I looked straight ahead as the driver took us to the train station. It wouldn't take much for Cal to guess what his father had said if I allowed him to see the fear in my eyes.

"Rose, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I frowned when I heard my voice quiver.

Cal put his hand under my chin and turned my face towards him. I immediately looked down at my hands.

"Rose, please look at me."

I sighed. I finally looked up at him trying hard to hide the fear but I couldn't push it down well enough to hide it. His expression hardened when he saw it all, the fear, the threats at the church and again just now. My eyes filled with tears and I looked anywhere but at Cal.

"Rose, I won't let him lay a finger on you. When we get back from the honeymoon we will look for a place of our own as soon as we can manage. "

I nodded. He pulled me closer and kissed my cheek. I felt myself relax as I leaned against him. We took the train into New York where we were going to spend our honeymoon week. At the train station Cal flagged down a taxi to take us to the hotel. I looked around the lobby as Cal checked us in. Our suitcases were already unpacked when we walked into our room. It was a large tastefully decorated suite with a sitting room, bedroom and private bathroom. I smiled when I saw a small bookcase filled with books in the sitting room. Cal looked to see what I was smiling at. He pulled me too him.

"I plan to keep you so busy Mrs. Hockley that you won't have a chance to pick up even one of those books." He teased me.

"And how do you plan to do that?"

His lips grazed the side of my neck, my body shivered as I felt the goosebumps raise all over my body. Cal opened his mouth slowly his teeth grazed the skin just below my ear softly, teasingly, my breath caught in my throat when his teeth nipped at my earlobe. Taking my hand in his I watched as his finger tips gently ran over my palm before he laced his fingers with mine. His palm pressed against mine where I felt his heart beating in rhythm with mine. His lips slowly kissed along my jaw line, the closer he got to my mouth the more impatient I was to feel him press his lips to mine claiming what is his to take. Cal grinned, his lips still pressed against the skin covering my jaw. He knew I was impatient but he wasn't ready to give me what I wanted yet. He moved his mouth away from my jaw to kiss the tip of my nose, then my cheek, finally his tongue licked the soft flesh of my upper lip. I moaned softly, my mouth opened drawing his tongue in where mine eagerly waited to taste him.

My fingers worked on the buttons of Cal's shirt, they were desperate to feel his bare skin. My fingers wouldn't work fast enough, impatiently I ripped his shirt open, the remaining three buttons flew to the floor. The minute my fingers touched his exposed skin I felt every nerve in my body jolt. I ran my fingernails softly down the sides of his chest smiling when I felt him shiver.

Cal groaned against my lips and suddenly his arms lifted me off the ground. He carried me through a set of double doors into the bedroom. We tore at our clothes in a frenzy needing to remove any barrier from the others flesh. Cal grabbed my arm and pulled me to him roughly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up into his eyes, my eyes pleaded for him to kiss me. His lips teased me, a quick kiss to my lips, a nip at my neck, a tongue drawing an ear lobe into his mouth. All the while his hands were busy removing the pins from my hair, he smiled when he removed the last pin and my hair was free.

Cal's lips moved down my neck, his tongue licked my throat as he continued down my body. His tongue made circles around my upright nipple before he sucked it into his mouth flicking the tip with his tongue. My fingernails dug into his back when I felt his teeth gently bite at my nipple.

"Cal" His name came out of my mouth in a half whisper half moan.

My body was on fire, every flick of his tongue scorched my skin but I craved it. His hands started to wander as his mouth continued to devour my breasts. He slowly ran his hands down my back, gripping by butt roughly. His hands moved up to encircle my waist his thumbs caressed my ribs before his hands moved down to my hips and then I felt them come to rest just above my pubic bone. My knees almost collapsed, Cal moved one hand to my back holding me up. The fingers of his other hand moved down slowly. Gently he slid his index finger into my wetness. A soft moan escaped my lips and as he slipped a second finger in. His mouth released my breast and Cal watched me as he slid his fingers in and out of my warm wet depths. They made a wet sucking noise that was unexpectedly sensual.

"Cal…" My hands wrapped around his head pulling him to me, my lips crashed into his with a fierce uncontrolled passion. My tongue forced it's way into his mouth where I took the lead massaging his tongue with mine. The intensity of my reaction sent him over the edge, he picked me up wrapping my legs around his waist. He backed us up against the wall and slid himself inside me with a blinding force that sent shock waves of pleasure through my body almost rendering me unconscious.

I pulled my lips from his looking down at him in wonder, he smiled knowingly at me. I clung to him, his hips pushed into me deeper and I let myself get lost on the wave of desire I felt for his body. He brought his lips back to mine as his hips slammed into me again. The harder his hips moved the more I felt my insides ignite. The familiar warmth spread quickly and when I felt myself start to tingle around him I knew I was about to climax. My kisses became clumsy as my breath became shallow and fast. I moaned his name over and over. And then finally the fire of my passion exploded and I clung to him as my body shook.

He kissed my neck, sucking at my skin where my neck connected to my shoulder. He sucked hard but I didn't mind. He moved us towards bed, my legs remained locked around his waist as we fell onto the bed . My hips rose up to meet his as we moved together in perfect rhythm. I stared up at his beautiful face. I had never seen his eyes so open and transparent with his feelings before. I saw love, desire and need. My hand cupped the side of his face, my fingers tenderly tracing his eye brow down to his cheek bone. Then I lightly traced the line of lips. He kissed my finger tips.

My lips moved to his neck moving slowly trailing kisses until I reached his ear. "Cal, I love you." I whispered.

"Rose…" He never finished his sentence, The next sound out of his mouth was a primeval groan and I then felt his throbbing release deep inside my body.

I held him as he lay on top of me. I loved the feel of the weight of his body on mine. I softly kissed his forehead and sighed with contentment. Exhausted and satisfied we fell asleep, Cal laying on me and me with my arms wrapped around him.


	13. Chapter 13

It was still dark outside when I felt Cal's lips on my neck. My eyes still closed I smiled and my hand reached up running my fingers through his messy hair. This time our love making was slow and sensual. Cal's absolute love for me was very evident with how tender and gentle he made love to me. I was consumed in it, I opened my heart and let myself return his love with the depths of my own. The room was filled with the sound of our whispered declarations of love and desire for each other. When my release came I begged for Cal's, almost immediately I felt his release mix with my own. We fell asleep in each others arms again and didn't wake up until late the next morning.

Cal was right when he said I wouldn't have time to open a book. Our days were filled with shopping, dining, and sightseeing. Our nights were spent with Cal showing me different ways to make love. All too soon it was time for us to head back to Philadelphia. As we walked out of the hotel room for the last time I turned and looked back at the bedroom with such a forlorn expression that Cal chuckled.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear so that the elevator operator wouldn't hear. "Just wait till I get you home and we have a new room to experiment in."

I blushed slightly and then nodded enthusiastically.

I wasn't looking forward to staying at Cal's father's house for however long it took for us to find our own place. But I knew Cal would keep his word and protect me. Nathan's driver was waiting for us at the train station in Philadelphia. Our luggage was loaded into the car and then we were on our way. The closer we got to the house the quieter and more tense I became. Cal pulled me to him trying to relax me.

"It wont be for long Rose. I promise."

"I know." I tried to relax. He kissed my forehead and I smiled at him.

Nathan wasn't home from work yet when we arrived. I was grateful for the chance to settle in to Cal's room before we had to deal with his father. Cal did his best to distract me which ended up with our clothes thrown around the room and me learning how sensual sitting on a man's lap in a chair can be. Cal helped me put my clothes back on and we headed downstairs for dinner. Nathan had arrived back home and crooked his eye brow at us when we walked into the library. Thankfully dinner went uneventfully. Nathan was too interested in catching Cal up on business to even spare another glance at me. After dinner Nathan demanded Cal's attention on some reports and I retired to our bedroom. Trudy came in to help me change out of my dress and put on my nightgown. I knew Cal and his father would be locked in the library for hours so I grabbed one of my books and crawled into bed.

When Cal finally came to bed I was fast asleep, my book still in my hand laying on my chest. He gently slid the book out of my hand and placed it on my bedside table. He undressed and then crawled into bed beside me pulling me into his arms. I snuggled into him, his familiar scent surrounded me. The next morning Cal was already gone for the day when I woke up. I crawled out of bed and made my way to our private bathroom. I took a long hot bath. As I relaxed in the hot water I wondered what it would be like to bath with Cal. My brain conjured up some interesting images. After I was clean I quickly dried off and went to dress for the day.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do with my day. I wasn't sure how Cal's step-mother spent her time but she was no where to be found so I assumed she had her own social engagements that kept her busy. I could call on mother but she was probably at some society meeting or busy visiting one of her many friends. After I had breakfast in the kitchen. I walked in the garden for a bit. It started to rain so I went back inside. I decided to explore the bookshelves in the library. That took up most of my day. I made a mental list of books I wanted to read.

Dinner that night went the same as the night before. I listened to Cal talk with his father about profit losses and a problem with a foreman. Later that night while we lay in bed I asked Cal questions about how they handled the foreman when he wasn't doing his job. I knew a little bit from my father but he had kept most of the inner workings of business to himself.

"Rose, you don't need to worry about issues at the mill. I am sure my father and I can straighten everything out."

"I'm not worried really. Just curious."

He kissed my forehead. "I am sure you would find it all boring any ways. Now close your eyes and let me sleep. My father wants me at the mill early tomorrow and I need my sleep."

I frowned into the darkness, feeling like I was being dismissed. I pushed the feeling away, sure he didn't mean it like that. He just needed to sleep. His father had been extremely demanding of Cal ever since we got back and I could tell Cal was exhausted from it all.

During one of my shopping trips in town I ran into an old acquaintance from school. A girl named Madeline. She was one of the nicer girls that I had met and I was happy to see her again. We caught up and then she told me about a charity drive she was working on. They were collecting clothing and other household items for the needy. They were in need of volunteers to help distribute fliers and accept donations. Madeline gave me the address where they were meeting the following afternoon.

I attended the meeting and was excited to sign up as a volunteer. It felt good to have something to occupy a large portion of my free time plus I was doing something good for others. Madeline and I met every other afternoon during the week and distributed fliers around different neighborhoods. One Saturday morning a month we met at the church that was sponsoring the clothing drive and helped check in donations. Cal seemed happy that I was happy with my new venture. Nathan was a different story. He didn't understand why I would spend so much time trying to help the poor people whom he classified as lazy freeloaders. Cal always stuck by my side and told his father that if I was happy then what did it matter.

The months quickly past, Cal was kept so busy at the mill that we hadn't had a chance to look for our own home. I kept myself busy with different charitable work and spending my spare time with Madeline. She had become a close friend and I enjoyed her company. When October arrived I knew it was almost time for the Hockley's annual ball. Madeline volunteered to help me shop for my dress. I invited her to the ball but she was going to be traveling to a family wedding that weekend.

The night of the ball Trudy helped me put on my new dress. It was a deep red with intricate black beading. The low neckline was just barely within the limits of appropriate. Cal was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me and when he saw me descending the stairs I was rewarded with a wide grin.

"You look breathtaking darling." He kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"Thank you." I smiled softly, my eyes looking up at him lovingly.

Cal's father watched us and frowned at the obvious affection between Cal and I. I refused to let him ruin my mood. I was looking forward to the ball, I couldn't wait for Cal to take me in his arms and guide me around the dance floor. I didn't want anything to ruin this night. Cal was leaving late that might on a business trip. He would only be gone a couple of days but it was the first time since we married that we would spend a night apart. There was also another reason I didn't want this night to be anything other than happy. I had a surprise announcement for Cal. I was saving it until we were alone later. I smiled as my hand briefly touched my stomach.

My excitement grew when we arrived at the ballroom. Cal placed my hand under his arm and led me into the room. Once we made the rounds Cal pulled me to the dance floor and skillfully led me in a slow waltz. I rested my head against his chest.

"Happy darling?"

"Never happier."

We danced to several songs before Cal led me to a table and went to get us a drink. A man approached me.

"Hello." He smiled kindly.

I had to do a double take. His hair was the same color as Jack's and his eyes were almost the same shade of blue. He was slightly taller than Jack had been and a little heavier. But he was still a handsome man.

"Hi. How are you?"

"Great. My name is Ethan Richards." He reached out his hand.

"Rose Hockley." I shook his hand briefly.

"Ah any relation to Nathan or Caledon?"

"Nathan is my father in law and Caledon is my husband."

"Caledon has good taste in woman." He smiled at me kindly.

I blushed involuntarily.

"Thank you? Although I think I have pretty good taste in men. My husband is a handsome man."

"I will have to take your word on that. My tastes run a little more feminine."

I laughed out loud. "I can see your point."

"It was nice to meet you Mrs. Hockley. I hope you have a lovely evening."

He bent down and took my hand lightly kissing the back of it before walking away. I wiped the back of my hand on the chair. I didn't notice Cal's father glaring at me from across the ball room. He had watched my whole interaction with the man angrily. Cal appeared at my side grabbing my arm roughly pulling me off the chair.

"Cal, Ow, you're hurting me. What's the matter?"

"What exactly did you think you were doing with that man?" His eyes narrowed as he waited for an answer.

"He introduced himself. When I told him my name he asked if I was related to you or your father. I informed him I was your wife. He made some comment about you having good taste in woman. I replied that I had good taste in men. Then he said he would take my word for it since his tastes ran more feminine. I laughed and then he said good bye."

"You seemed quite cozy with him. Blushing like a lovesick school girl and allowing him to kiss your hand. And don't think the fact that he looks like Jack went unnoticed."

"Cal, stop. I am married to you. I love you. I don't know this man, nor do I think he looked like Jack and I most certainly am not a lovestruck school girl. Now let go of my arm you're hurting me."

He let go of my arm but continued to glare at me. "We are leaving get your coat and meet me out front."

"But it's still early…"

"Do as I say. I have to leave in a few hours and I'm tired."

"Fine."

Cal and I rode home alone. His father and step mother stayed at the ball until the early hours of the morning. I tried to put my hand in Cal's, a peace offering, but he jerked his hand away from mine. When I tried to talk to him he turned his head away from me. When we got to the house Cal stalked inside not bothering to wait for me. I trailed behind him slowly, my anger rising with each step. I heard him pouring a drink in the library but I walked past and headed straight up the stairs to our room. Trudy was there waiting for me, she helped me out of my dress and undid my corset. I told her she could go, that I could handle the rest on my own. She nodded and left the room. I was standing in the middle of the room with only my sheer slip on when Cal came in slamming the door behind him. He stalked across the room grabbed my forearms and kissed me painfully. He ripped my slip off and threw it on the ground. He picked me up and threw me on the bed. He removed his own clothes with a lot of swearing and ripping sounds. When he looked up at me his eyes weren't full of love and desire they were still angry and a little drunk. I started to jump off the bed and run from him but he grabbed my neck and pushed me back on the bed.

He was on top of me before I had a chance to escape again. His hands firmly holding my wrists against the bed. He wasn't gentle when he entered me. I turned my head refusing to look at him as the tears slipped from between my eyelids. He slammed painfully into me as he climaxed. When he finished he pushed himself away from me. I curled myself into a ball and forced the sobs away only allowing myself to cry silently not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

"Rose."

I didn't respond. I couldn't or the sobs would escape and he would know how he had hurt me.

"You will not flirt with other men. Especially not right in front of me. You are my wife and the only flirting you will do is with me. Do you understand?"

Anger momentarily overrode the pain of my heart. I crawled off the bed and looked at him. "I was NOT flirting with anyone. It was an innocent conversation with some man I had never met before! But why do I bother explaining again. You didn't believe me the first time I tried to tell you.

He glared at me. "I saw you Rose. I saw how you blushed and batted your eye lashes at him and then when allowed him to kiss your hand. You can't lie to me."

"Cal I may be your wife but I will NEVER let you control who I talk to. And as far as flirting you need not worry about that. You will never see me flirting with anyone, most of all YOU!"

I made it to the bathroom and locked the door before he could catch me. He banged on the door yelling for me to come out or he would break the door down. I slid to the floor, my head leaning against the door as the sobs I had forced down escaped. I watched the shadow of Cal's feet reflected from under the door onto the bathroom floor. He stood silently on the outside of the locked door listening to me cry.

"Rose, please come out." He pleaded.

"Just go Cal. You have done enough."

"Rose I have to leave soon please come out."

"No, please just go. I can't take anymore tonight."

"I love you." He whispered softly.

I didn't respond and with a sigh he walked away. I watched as the shadow of his feet disappeared.

I waited until I knew Cal had left for his trip before I opened the bathroom door. I put on my night gown, turned off the lights and slid into bed. The next morning I had just gotten out of bed and put on my robe when Nathan walked into the room.

"Mr. Hockley I would appreciate it if you would please knock before entering. I might have been indisposed."

He sneered at me. "You are in no position to make demands Rose. I saw you with that man last night. The way you shamefully flirted with him, encouraging his advances. In front of Cal, myself, our friends and business associates. I warned you what would happen if you ever acted like that again."

"I was NOT flirting, why can't you and Cal see that. I was simply being polite."

He grabbed my hair painfully wrenching my head to the side. "Maybe polite for a whore but not for a lady with proper upbringing."

"Cal will not appreciate you putting your hands on me." My heart was racing and I tried to swallow down the fear but it was starting to overwhelm me.

Nathan laughed at me. "I saw how angry Cal was last night and when he left for his trip. I don't think he will care."

Nathan shoved me against the dresser and grabbed me by the neck so hard I was having trouble breathing. My fingers clawed at his hand trying to remove it from my neck. He slapped me so hard I saw stars. He released my neck and I tried to stagger away but he caught me by the hair. Pulling me back to him.

"You will learn not to cross me little girl."

I turned and glared at him, trying to push him away. He didn't expect me to fight back and it angered him. He slapped me again harder than the first. I tasted blood. He came towards me again. He saw the fear finally and grinned. I had to make him stop, I was afraid he would kill me.

"Please, Im pregnant." I begged him, hoping that he would not want to harm his grandchild, Cal's child.

He paused for a second and then his face darkened. I turned to run but he was faster he grabbed my arm, digging his fingers into me painfully. He looked down at me with disgust just before he raised his foot and kicked me hard in the lower stomach. I doubled over in pain gasping for breathe, tears rolling down my face. I tried to stand upright but the pain was excruciating. Nathan looked down at me in satisfaction before he shoved me with his whole strength towards the nearest chair but I tripped and landed face down against the footboard of the bed. I slid to the floor and couldn't find the will to stand. I felt the blood running down the side of my face. My head was throbbing, my cheek burned and my lip felt swollen. But the cramping pain in my stomach caused me the most panic. The cramping increased and then I felt a warm sensation between my legs, I looked down and saw the blood. The tears poured out of me.

Cal's stepmother came into the room a few minutes later, I was still laying on the floor at the foot of the bed. When she saw the blood staining the bottom of my nightgown she called the doctor. I'm not sure what she told him or how she explained my injuries but he didn't say anything as he examined me and got me cleaned up.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Hockley, you have lost the baby."

I nodded and then turned my head away from him as the tears rolled down my cheeks. He gave me some pain killers before he left. I refused to eat or talk to anyone for two days. Cal's stepmother and the maids eventually left me alone. I found that the pain killers not only dulled the physical pain they also helped numb the pain in my heart. When I felt the medicine start to wear off I took more. I spent the next two days keeping myself numbed.

I was laying in bed when Cal came into the room. It was night so the room was dark and I knew he couldn't see my face clearly. He crawled into bed and reached for me but I flinched away from him.

"Rose please don't be mad still. I'm sorry, I know I overreacted."

He reached for me again but I launched myself off the bed and stood with my back against the corner of the wall. He sat up in bed looking towards me.

"Rose what's the matter?"

When I didn't respond he got out of bed and walked towards me. I slid down the wall landing on the floor and hugged my knees to my chest. My body started to shake. He stood back frowning down at me. I ducked my head hiding my face behind my hair. He reached over and turned on my bedside lamp.

"Rose, please look at me." He kneeled down in front of me.

When I didn't move he put his hand under my chin and slowly lifted my face. I looked up at him and watched as his face slowly went from shock to understanding and then anger.

"Who did this to you Rose?"

I shook my head. He wrapped his arms around my chest tightly hugging me to him but my gasp of pain caused him to release me. He looked down at my body. He took my hand and pulled me up. He started examining me making a mental list of all the injuries. His jaw clinched when he saw the handprint shaped bruise on my neck. His eyes moved to the gash just above my right eye, my swollen lip, severely bruised cheek, and then the bruises on my arms and chest.

"Is this all of them?"

I shook my head and looked away.

"Rose, what else?"

The tears started again as I looked up into his eyes. Nathan had hurt my throat so my voice came out in a raspy whisper that hurt. I winced as I opened my mouth to try and say the words that shot daggers through my heart. "The baby."

Cal looked at me in confusion. I never had the chance to tell him about the baby so he didn't understand.

"I wanted to tell you that night but you were so angry." My tears falling faster. "I was so happy, we were going to have a baby. A baby with my blue eyes and your dark hair." I was nearing hysterics and Cal wasn't fully comprehending what I was trying to say. "I begged him, I told him I was pregnant but then he kicked me in the stomach. The doctor came. I'm so sorry."

I collapsed in his arms as the sobs escaped out of me. He picked me up and carried me back to bed. He held me until the sobs slowed. I reached for my pills, he turned and saw the bottle. He looked down at me with an unfamiliar expression before he opened the bottle and took out two of the little pills and handed them to me. I wouldn't find out till months later that he used to see his mother take the same pills after a confrontation with his father.

"The doctor said I only needed one." My voice sounded so empty.

"Trust me Rose. Just this once, take two. It will help you sleep. I promise."

I nodded and took the glass of water he was holding out for me. I swallowed both the pills and handed him back the glass. He set it on the bedside table and gently wrapped his arm around me. He started singing softly. The pills worked quickly and I felt my body relax in Cal's arms. He gently kissed my forehead he moved out from under me and laid me down on the bed pulling the covers up over me. I didn't hear him leave the room. Suddenly, I was in the middle of a dream where someone that sounded like Cal was yelling, I heard laughing and then glass smashing followed by a lot crashing sounds. It eventually morphed into a more pleasant dream. I was safe in New York on my honeymoon again with Cal.

I stirred slightly when Cal came back to bed. He smelled strongly of whiskey.

"Cal?" My hand went to my throat and I frowned at the pain of speaking.

"Shhh Rose. Sleep darling. It's okay, I'm here now." He started humming softly.

I drifted back to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

I didn't wake up again until almost lunch time the next day. I stretched gingerly and looked around the room. Cal wasn't there. I got up and headed for the bathroom. After taking care of the necessary business, I stood in front of the mirror gently running my brush through my hair and stared at my face. I gently touched the tender spot above my right eye. It didn't hurt as much anymore. The swelling of my lip had gone down. The bruise on my cheek was starting to fade I thought. I pushed my night gown down exposing my neck. You could see Nathan's hand print there still. I put my hand on my throat mirroring the shape of the bruise. I jerked my hand away and angry tears filled my eyes. I turned and saw Nathan standing in the doorway watching me. I started to back away from him my body shaking. I looked around the room for some sort of weapon. He laughed at me.

I looked up at his face noticing his black eye and busted lip.

"You may have successfully turned my son against me for the moment but he will soon see you for the low life whore that you are."

"You killed our baby. Do you even care about that? Your own grandchild!"

"I did Caledon a favor. The bastard that you were carrying was probably not my son's and I saved him from having to raise it."

I opened my mouth to respond when Cal who had been standing unnoticed behind his father spoke up. "I suggest you remove yourself from my room before I finish what I started last night."

"Caledon stop overreacting. Your wife and I were just having a little conversation."

"I heard enough of your conversation. You killed my child! Not to mention the damage you did to my wife!"

"Has she gotten you so fooled that you cant see her for what she is. I doubt that baby was even yours. You should be thankful I took care of it for you."

"The baby was indeed mine! And the only fool in this room is you if you think I will let you come anywhere near my wife again."

Cal pushed his father out of the room and slammed the door in his face. I watched Cal stand at the door his hands balled into tight fists. He glared at the door for a minute before he turned towards me.

"Rose we need to get you dressed. The staff will be in here shortly to pack up our stuff."

He helped me dress, only stopping once to calm himself when he saw the large purple and black bruise on my stomach. He sat me down on one of the chairs in the room.

"Where are we going?" I croaked.

"I rented us a house. I can't allow you to stay in this house any longer. And if I stay here I will end up killing him."

I nodded.

A team of staff came in and I sat watching as a flurry of activity went on around me. In a few short hours our bedroom was completely packed and being loaded into a truck. We left the furniture behind. Cal said our new house came partially furnished and what it didn't have we could buy on our own. It took a few days to get our stuff unpacked and settled but I was happier.

The house was big, not as large as Cal's father's but it was newer and felt more like a home to me. Best of all it was ours, our private sanctuary. Cal hired a small staff; a cook, a couple of maids and a valet. Once my bruises had faded almost completely I invited Madeline over for tea. It was nice to have my own place that I could invite over friends without worrying about Nathan and how he would treat them.

December arrived quickly and the Hockley's Christmas party was upon us. I tried to put on a brave face but I was sick to my stomach with nerves. The last gathering I had attended had not gone so well. Cal stayed by my side as much as he could. When he had to go talk to a colleague I stayed with my mother. I saw Nathan glaring at me continuously from across the room but I pretended I didn't notice him. I smiled and talked as if I didn't have a care in the world to some of Mother's friends. I was more than ready when Cal appeared at my elbow announcing it was time to go. I said my goodbyes and let Cal lead me out into the cold winter night. He opened the car door for me and I craned my neck up kissing his lips softly. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me to him as our lips moved together. My hands gripped the lapels of his coat holding him to me. He hadn't made love to me since the night of the last party and that time hadn't been one I care to remember. When he came back from his trip he had been afraid to touch me, fearing he would hurt my already bruised and battered body.

"Rose. I think we should continue this at home. Unless you don't mind me taking you right here?"

I giggled. "Ok, let's go home."

Cal drove us home quickly. He had barely parked and turned off the car before he jumped out. He opened my door and pulled me into his arms. Kissing my forehead and then my cheeks before moving to my neck. All the while he walked us to the front door. I don't know how he managed to unlock it but suddenly we were inside and he was locking the door behind us. I took off my coat dropping it on the hall floor. I almost tripped on it but Cal grabbed my arms and held me up. I unbuttoned his coat sliding it off his shoulders. He let go of my arms and let his coat slide to the floor beside mine. I took off his hat and tossed it on to the hall table. We finally made it to our bedroom. Cal closed the door behind us. I took off my jewelry and released my hair from all the pins. Cal stood behind me bare chested and undid the back of my dress. He slid it over my head and then untied the strings of my corset. When the corset dropped to the floor he lifted my hair and softly kissed the back and sides of my neck. My body tingled and the hairs on my arm stood up. I turned to face him my lips claiming his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he held onto my hips, pulling my lower half against his. He opened his lips allowing my tongue entrance. It had been so long since we had kissed like this that I was a little hesitant at first but his tongue greeted mine and I let instinct take over.

Cal walked us towards the bed where he lifted me gently and laid me down. I watched as he quickly removed his pants. Finally, He laid down beside me, one hand massaging the back of my head the other hand exploring the length of my body. He seemed to like the way my back arched towards him when he caressed my breasts. He straddled my hips and slid my slip over my head exposing the bare skin of my breasts. He cupped one in each hand gently caressing them and smiling seductively when my back arched towards him causing our bodies to rub in just the right places. He leaned down nipping my hardened nipple before taking it into his mouth sucking on it until I moaned then he moved to the other breast and repeated the same with it. I started to grow impatient. My body yearned for him. It had been too long and I felt like a hungry wild animal staring at its first meal in weeks.

He moved his hands and mouth down my body. I lifted my hips slightly when he tugged at my satin underwear. I felt him slid them down my legs and then finally they were dropped to the floor. He ran his lips slowly up the inside of my leg. Our eyes locked on each others when he reached my wet and sensitive area. He slowly ran his tongue over it, tasting me. He kept watching me to see my reaction. I swallowed loudly. He had never done this before. His fingers parted me slightly and I felt his tongue slowly slide inside. My hands gripped the sheets and my head fell back as a moan escaped my lips. I felt his tongue flick at a spot that sent electric sparks through my body causing me to twitch under him. As his tongue was teasing that magical spot I felt his fingers slide into me. My breathing was coming quicker and my body twitched. His tongue moved over the spot faster and his fingers matched their speed as they slid in and out.

"Oh God… Cal…" I didn't recognize my own voice. It was throaty and lustful. Then my body convulsed and my back arched as I lost control. My head fell back again and I screamed out in pleasure. It came in delicious waves one after the other. When it was over my body collapsed against the bed. Cal moved his body back over mine. I grabbed his face, pulling his lips to mine. He tasted funny but I didn't care. He rolled us over so that I was on top of him. My hair draped over us as we kissed. I pulled my lips from his grinning down at him. I kissed his chest and lightly ran my hands over his ribs and down to his stomach. I sat up straddling his waist. He guided my hips down to his hardened staff. I reached between my legs, my fingers wrapping around him, running my hand along his length before guiding him into me and sliding my hips down taking in his full length. I slowly moved my hips enjoying his fullness.

Cal's hands were on my hips helping me set the rhythm. He watched me move over him and then as my movement sped up his attention turned to my breasts watching them bounce with each glide of my hips. He reached up taking one in his hand squeezing it. My hips started moving faster, I was being rubbed in all the right places, my hands gripped Cal's arms. My body twitched with each thrust of my hips and I felt Cal quickly flip us over and suddenly he was on top just as my climax gave way. I screamed out Cal's name as my fingers dug into his arms.

His thrusts slowed but were deeper and harder. Then suddenly he growled in my ear. With one last hard thrust I felt the spreading warmth erupting deep inside me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him tightly, holding him too me, refusing to let him go.

After a few minutes I slowly relaxed my hold allowing him to move to my side. His fingers gently caressed my face, he traced the tiny scar that was barely visible just above my right eye. I smiled softly.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."


	15. Chapter 15

A couple of months later, while we lay exhausted in each other's arms after the second round of lovemaking that night, I announced I was expecting another child. Cal held me in his arms the whole night.

Cal had been traveling a lot for work and had decided to hire a personal guard for me. He became overly protective after what happened with his father, I couldn't blame him. Once I found out I was having another baby I became fearful and extremely jumpy. Cal and I decided to keep the news just between us until it became impossible for me to hide it. I was scared of what his father might try to do if he heard about the baby. Every time I had to attend a social event where Nathan was present I was overly fearful. Nathan seemed to notice my reaction to him and would smirk at me. If Cal wasn't by side then I stayed close to my mother. If she wasn't there then I would stay near the body guard.

As the baby grew and it became more difficult to hide I stayed home more. I managed to steer clear of Nathan until my seventh month. Hockey Steel was having an important dinner party at Nathan's house and as much as Cal tried, he couldn't save me from this dinner. I was a nervous wreck on the drive to his father's house. Cal did his best to keep me calm. Promising to stay by my side all evening. We were the first to arrive and the butler showed us into the library where Nathan and Cal's stepmother were waiting. When I walked into the room, Nathan looked down at my full stomach.

He smirked. "So this is why you haven't been to any of the dinners the past few months? Growing another bastard in your womb?"

Cal started for his father but I grabbed his arm. "Nathan, I'm looking at the only bastard in this room." I mustered up all the fire I could and stared him square in the eye.

His eyes narrowed at me and he started to walk forward. "Why you little bitch!"

Cal stepped protectively in front of me. "It would be wise for you to remember what happened the last time you dared touch my wife."

Nathan turned his anger towards his son. They stood angrily staring at each other, neither willing to back away first. I wasn't sure how long they could last but luckily I didn't have to find out. More of the dinner guests arrived and Nathan turned his attention away from Cal. I backed away from Nathan who was walking by me to greet the new arrivals. True to his word Cal stayed by my side the whole evening. Nathan never got a second chance to approach me.

A week after the dinner party Cal had to go away for a five day business trip. Sometimes on these longer trips I would go with him but I tired out so easily now and it was in the middle of july, the hottest part of the summer, the heat drained what little energy I had. Cal reluctantly agreed to leave me behind. The fact that I had the personal body guard helped ease his mind a little.

The body guard proved unnecessary. Two days into his trip we got word that Nathan had suffered a fatal heart attack and died. My initial reaction was relief. Cal didn't come home early. He finished his trip coming home just in time for the funeral. Cal seemed just as relieved as me. He never cried or seemed to have any sadness about his father's death. He inherited his fathers estate and continued on as if nothing had happened. He let his stepmother stay in the house as long as she wanted but she seemed ready to move on and within a few weeks she had moved out. Cal asked if I wanted to move back into the house. I didn't really want to. I think even though I knew he was dead I would constantly be waiting for Nathan to jump out at me. I wasn't sure how Cal felt. He had been raised in that house. There were memories of his mother both good and tragic. I left the decision up to him, much to my relief he put it up for sale.

Once the house sold, we found our dream house and bought it. I was almost full term by the time we moved in. Cal was even busier at work while he took over the reigns of the company completely. Madeline came over a few days a week to keep my company. I was too far along to venture far from the house.

In the early morning hours of september third I went into labor. I tried to be quiet, Cal hadn't been getting much sleep lately and I knew he needed all he could get. I managed to stay quiet for a couple of hours but the pains started coming closer together and grew more intense. He sat up in bed when I cried out.

"Rose?"

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm in labor?"

"What?! Are you sure? How long as it been going on?"

"Just a couple of hours." Another pain hit and I started panting my hands gripping the bed sheets.

"A couple of hours?! Rose! Why didn't you wake me?"

"You need your sleep. It wasn't that bad at first."

"Damn it Rose!"

"Please don't be mad. I'm fi… Oh… Cal…" I was panting again.

"Hang on Darling I am going to get the Doctor." He didn't wait for a reply before he ran out of the bedroom door.

I tried to lay still and keep relaxed. Just before Cal came back I felt a rush of liquid run down my legs. I was suddenly glad I remembered to get up when this first started and put a bunch of towels on the bed.

"The doctor will be here as soon as he can. I woke the maid and she is getting everything prepared for the doctor. Can I get you anything?"

"Just hold my hand?"

He stood by the side of the bed with my hand in his. Another pain hit an I squeezed his hand with all my strength. I whimpered.

"Rose. You are stronger than you realize." He grimaced.

I looked down at his hand and realized I was hurting him. I quickly released his hand with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry." I was about to say more when another pain hit. I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on anything but the pain. My hands gripped the bed sheets again. Silent tears slipped down my face. Cal got down on his knees so his face was level with mine. I opened my eyes and looked into his beautiful brown eyes. When the next pain hit I kept my eyes on his. I concentrated on memorizing the different brown tones. He reached up and brushed my hair away from my face. The pain finally subsided and I let out a long sigh of relief.

"Is it bad Rose?"

"Sometimes."

When the doctor arrived he and the maid shooed Cal from the room. I watched him leave reluctantly. The door was closed behind him, I heard a chair being pulled down the hall and then it stopped right outside our bedroom door. I smiled. He was still close if I needed him. As the hours passed the pains became almost unbearable and so close together. I cried out several times and I could hear Cal pacing in the hall. Once the doctor told me to start pushing it wasn't long before I was holding my beautiful baby in my arms. The minute the maid took the baby from my arms it started crying at the top of it's lungs. She cleaned it quickly and then returned it to my arms. As soon as the baby was safe back in my arms it stopped crying.

When the doctor was finished cleaning up and I was covered again Cal was allowed in the room. His eyes were locked on me and our baby. He walked slowly to the side of the bed. I looked up into his eyes and smiled. Cal looked down at the precious bundle in my arms.

"Cal, we have a son."

"A son?"

I nodded.

"He looks just like you." He grinned.

I shook my head. "He has your hair and ears."

Cal examined the little ears and grinned again.

"He is beautiful Rose. I'm so proud of you." He kissed my forehead.

"What shall we name him?"

"Henry Caledon Hockley."

"My little Henry." I smiled down at my son.

The next year our daughter, Elizabeth Rose was born and two years after that our youngest son Arthur Thomas came screaming into the world. Cal was a wonderful father to our children. And he would fill all our lives with many happy memories of the adventures he took us on.

Shortly after our first son was born he hired a couple of assistants who could help with the work load at the mill giving Cal more time to spend with me and our children. We took many family vacations, some were well planned but there were also some where we just packed up and traveled wherever seemed interesting at the moment.

When our children grew up and moved out, if felt like we were newlyweds again. Henry and Arthur took over the steel mill allowing Cal to retire. We traveled some but we were happiest at home wrapped in each other's arms. I couldn't imagine my life turning out as happy without Cal. He had become my closest friend when I was a thirteen year old girl. We had almost lost all that after my seventeenth birthday. His anger and jealously almost destroyed us both. When everything seemed irreparably fractured fate stepped in and forced us back together. Cal had been right, I had been made just for him. I was his other half and he was mine. Fate would step in one more time in our lives and take control.

As Cal got older he wanted to make sure the kids and I would be taken care of when he died. He had his lawyer draw up his will. He wanted to discuss everything with me but it hurt me to even think about him leaving me alone. He understood my feelings but forced me to listen. After he was done I told him it sounded good to me and I left the room. He found me a little later staring out the large window in our bedroom.

"Rose. It had to be done. Just in case."

"I know. But I don't know how to live without you."

"Rose you are the strongest most independent person I know. I am sure you will be able to go on."

"I know I am capable of living without you Cal. I just don't want to have to."

He nuzzled my neck. "Believe me darling, I understand. I feel the same way about you."

Several years later Cal and Rose were driving back home late at night from a New Year's Eve party. It was bitterly cold and the road was covered with snow and ice. Cal swerved to miss an animal on the road and lost control, the car flipped several times before hitting a tree. Their bodies were found the next morning. Cal was 86 and Rose was 73.


End file.
